Title: Something Familiar
Author: MissAnnThropic
E-Mail: miss_annthropic@yahoo.com
Summary: Max left behind his life to save those he loved and her whom he loved most.
Disclaimer: None of it's mine. I'm just a sad little fangirl that spends her days writing fanfic and watching taped episodes of her favorite shows :(
A/N: *Inspired by the Harry Chapin song "Taxi"*
Twenty five years. It had been twenty five years since he'd last seen her. His goddess... his true love. Twenty five years since his heart had beat last.
He remembered it every day... every second of his life since then it weighed on him. The fact that his cab at night was completely silent, that his clients were typically drunk, sleeping, or just plain so wrapped up in themselves that he nary heard a single word all night... the only utterances spoken to him all night were a scattered number of street names and a few 'how much's.
The utter silence gave him so much time to think about it. Not that he could forget about it even when there was sounds to attempt to drown it out... the dead air only made the voices of the past seem to scream at him mere inches from his ear.
Ghosts of the past, voices that haunted him day and night. Words that reminded him every single moment what had happened twenty five years ago... the terrible series of events (disguised as the best things in his life) that ultimately tore him from his love... his life. His Liz.
Tonight was no different as he pulled around tenth avenue, a neutral part of his brain scanning the sidewalks for people needing help. The short waves that beckoned him. For a single moment in this faceless city, people were seeking him out... looking for him, seeking salvation from the winds and rains in his small space of relief. The small space of his back seat where he could take them in... look out for them if only for a few moments and take then to where they needed to go... help them find the sanctuaries in the early morning hours of gloom.
At least he could help others get home, even if he never could.
Tonight he was doing it again... musing sadly on what had been... what could have been, and everything he had ultimately lost.
Twenty five years ago he was in Roswell... the closest thin to home he'd ever had. Actually... it had been the place where his real home lived. Liz Parker lived there, and she was his home.
Despite all the troubles thrown in their way... everything that told them they could never be together, everything that told them it was forbidden for them to ever date... all of that they overcame. Love persevered. When Max was seventeen he became truly happy when he had Liz became a couple.
Even now, remembering it now twenty five years later, it still warmed his heart to remember what it had been like back then. So easy.
There had always been problems, risks, troubles with them being together. It was expected... they were different species. But they considered the risks to their own lives worth their love.
Despite the danger to their own lives, they were the happiest they'd ever been. To know they might die for what they felt meant nothing as long as they felt it. And felt it they did.
Max turned down the next corner, driving slowly as the traffic was light. He glanced around the sidewalks, finding no one seeking his attention. Only solemn people, a few in couples, walking along in their own worlds.
That's what he'd had... his own world with Liz. They had been going together as a couple for a year. It was great.
When they graduated at eighteen, it was only a matter of months before they were married. There were lots of people who feared for them getting married so young... that their lives would come to a stand-still and they would be stuck in a rut as young newly weds. And that's exactly what they set out to do and achieved with flying colors.
They didn't want to move forward... they didn't want to move at all. They wanted to remain in a steady bliss with each other forever. Lost to the world, forgotten to spend every passing moment with each other.
For a year that's how it was. They holed up in an apartment all their own... barely scraping by financially so they could linger in bed with each other early mornings. And it was heaven.
They had decided early and mutually that they didn't want children. Not right away... maybe not even anytime remotely soon. There were too many things to take into consideration, taking into account the hazardous conditions their own lives were constantly in.
So Liz was steadfastly on birth control. It was never a problem. They loved every night, loved in heart every single second between and glowed with compassion for each other without fail.
Max stopped at a red light. A light mist began to lightly patter on his windshield. Max turned his attention away from the vacant red light, watching the tiny droplets of water land softly on the glass of his windshield. He sighed... such a light and tender touch... almost like tiny kisses in front of him. Of course, he had to be held away from it by an impenetrable glass pane.
Max blinked when he saw out of the corner of his eye the light behind his lightly spotted windshield go from red to green, turning on the windshield wipers and frowned internally as the butterfly kisses of raindrops were smothered and beat down against the glass and cast aside with the quick flick of the rubber wipers blades.
He remembered those last few happy times with Liz... before things became so complicated. Before his world came crashing down... and in a cruel twist of fate all by his own doing.
Liz had just turned twenty... a few months behind him. They were gearing up for another year of minimal work and maximum time together in each other's arms. Coincidentally, they had decided beforehand this would be their last neutral year together. After this... THEN they would focus on actually making a living outside each other's loving embraces, but for one more year they wanted their only concern to be letting the other know just HOW much they adored the other.
As fate would have it, it was their level and extent of love for each other, physical as much as mental, that sealed their fates.
It couldn't have come at a worse time. Maybe... just maybe if it had come at any other time things could have been different, but as it was things just couldn't be.
It was by chance that at that time, their external lives and the other factors in their lives were going to place upon their future a strong strain, maybe one could even say it was enough to break it. Max's true identity, his lineage, would ultimately tear them apart. Regardless of how they always fought not to let it, it would end up being the thing that tore them apart. Maybe some things just weren't meant to be... evidenced by what happened twenty five years ago.
Without any warning, there came news. Distressing news. Their enemies were closing in. Targets locked, prepare to fire, all systems go for annihilation.
Things were about to get hairy. They knew that, and though it was a looming prospects, Max and Liz were ready to brave it together. After all, they still had each other, and they'd known from the beginning that they were going to be taking risks... that danger would always be on their tails. They had accepted that... were ready for it, and after all... it was only their lives at risk.
Only it wasn't.
For a few months tensions were very high. Everyone was on edge, preoccupied... Liz and Max included. Liz forget to take two of her pills and Max forgot to remind her. Just two... but that was enough to do it.
And so they found themselves facing danger from a hostile alien race, the threat to life and limb very real... and they were very pregnant.
Actually, LIZ was pregnant, but it was obviously just as much Max's baby... just as much as it was equally his decision as to what to do.
Max glanced down at his dashboard clock. 10:23pm. He'd better stay on the road only about half an hour more... he did have to get up and work in the morning at the school.
Max turned his attention back to the streets, scanning again for passengers seeking his refuge. The sidewalk had cleared the moment the light patter of rain began. It was as if Max was alone in the lonely New York streets.
He kept remembering that day. It was the sore spot of his soul... a gaping would beyond ever healing. He remembered it so clearly that it still stung, her words sharp in his ears as if she were sitting the passenger's seat beside him, riding along with him and quoting back the conversation of so long ago.
It had been a chilly November day. For two months Max and Liz had thought about what to do... about them, the baby... everything. They had been busy, tactfully avoiding it. Earlier that day, though... it just came too close. A Skin had nearly killed Liz, had Max not stepped in she would surely have perished. This prospect was nothing new... this time, however, there was a third equation to consider.
Max had been standing by the apartment door, watching fearfully as Liz paced before him, slowed, and began to cry. He'd just brought her home after the Skin had tried to literally vaporize her. She'd been so quiet after it happened and now... now she was cracking. Max didn't know what to say... what to do, so he stood still, watching in helplessness as Liz broke down into tears.
She turned to him, tears running down her face as she muttered weakly, "I almost died, Max."
Max swallowed. He knew that as well as she, but he would rather not think too hard on it. Even the idea tore at his insides.
Liz trembled, covered her mouth to stifle her cries, then looked back up, "It's not the same anymore, Max... things are different now."
Max nodded, moving slightly closer to her, "What are you talking about when you say different, Liz?"
Liz burst, "THE BABY, MAX!" Liz curbed herself, biting her lip when she realized from Max's face that she'd yelled at him.
She took a staggered breath, then said, "It's different now because... Max, before we knew our lives would always be in danger and we accepted that. It was OUR risk... but it... that's not the case anymore. There's another life at stake here, Max."
Max dropped his eyes, whispering weakly, "I protected both of you..."
Liz sniffled, stepping closer to him, her voice dropped as she uttered faintly, "But what about later? Max... one day soon we won't be in the same body... this baby will be another person... another one at risk... another one to protect."
Max looked up at her, finding her gaze, "I can do it, Liz. I'd die to protect both of you."
Liz was silent a long time, studying his gaze with those amazing eyes of hers, then she asked him gently but firmly, "Do you want me to get an abor–"
Max wouldn't let her finish the sentence. He moved to her quickly, covering the short distance between them to softly press a finger to her lips. His face grimaced in pain at what she was about to say, but he said nothing at first.
He dropped his hand from her face, smiling faintly in tortured joy at her and resting his other hand over her stomach. He dropped his head down to hers, whispering hoarsely as tears of his own threatened to join Liz's, "Please. No... I don't want that. Is that what you..."
Liz half sobbed and half laughed as she placed her own hand over Max's as it cradled her small abdomen. She shook her head, "No... I want this... I want this so badly. But I want you too... how can we..."
Max sighed in relief that she didn't want to lose their baby any more than he did, and he finally said, "We'll think of something... it'll be okay."
Liz was silent a long time. A silence he remembered being the longest two minutes of his life. She wanted to believe him. As she did so often before, she wanted to place complete faith in his words and curl into his body in content. The reality of a child... the responsibility of parenthood, kept her from doing it. She could only think, muse.
Max had done the same. And it didn't take him long to realize the only thing that could be done. He pulled his head up to meet her gaze, locking on her eyes and asking strongly, "Liz... DO YOU WANT THIS BABY?"
Liz swallowed, then nodded.
Max sighed sadly, closing his eyes and nodding himself. He took a moment to gather himself (to ensure he didn't break into sobs at his next words) and then he said confidently, "Liz... there's only one way this child can ever be safe... REALLY safe."
Liz nearly broke into sobs again, but instead held firm and answered faintly, "I know."
Max reached up, touching her face and letting himself swim in her dark eyes one last time, "Liz... we can never contact each other again. It's too dangerous for the baby. I have to break all contact with you... you know that."
Liz couldn't answer... too torn. She wanted Max more than the world, but to have his baby had been a dream of hers, and she wanted to be a mother. She couldn't choose between the two. The fact she could only have one was killing her.
Max knew this... saw it in her face, and knew he would have to be the strong one.
Max pulled Liz into him, engulfing her in the strongest hug of his life, "I'll pack tonight."
Liz broke... weeping uncontrollably and clinging to him. She bawled as she had never in her life, and among her mutterings she began to plead, "No... no, Max... please... I don't want it... I want you... please no... don't leave me... I don't want it anymore..."
But Max knew she did. And Liz was going to make a great mother... if only he could be there to prove to her and everyone he could be a capable father.
Max hugged her tighter, "I want it, Liz. Please... for me? Have this baby."
Liz cried harder, nearly going limp in his arms. She cried so hard that she fell into a fitful sleep right in his arms in the living room.
And that had been the last time he had seen her beautiful eyes.
Max had carried his wife to the couch, lying her down and silently packing what little belongings he owned.
Before leaving, he went to her on the couch and knelt beside her. He ran tender fingers through her hair, gazing at her beauty even when asleep and face puffy from crying. Alone and unseen, he let his own tears fall. He rested one hand softly over the warm haven where his gorgeous wife carried their baby. This was the closest he would ever get to the person he or she would be.
Max leaned in, placing a last sweet kiss on Liz's temple as she slept. Then he stood and walked out of the apartment. That was the last time he saw or even heard from Liz again.
Twenty five years ago. He'd moved to New York, finished school, became an elementary teacher (maybe to experience the smallest form of fatherhood he ever could) and drove a taxi at night. He never slept much since that day, anyway.
Max turned down another street, idly scanning for passengers.
He often wondered what happened after he left. What Liz did when she woke to find him gone. He didn't like to think that she had gone into near hysterics, tearing apart the apartment and finally settling down into a weeping basket case. He knew she had, however. He knew that was how he would react if the roles had been switched.
Alex and Maria were there for Liz, no doubt. They were the ones who without doubt carried Liz through the lonely pregnancy. Max would even be willing to bet his life that Alex let Liz use him as the smoke screen... his name was probably even on the child's birth certificate as the father. Good old Alex. No one would ever suspect the child of Alex Whitman... it would be safe all its life.
Max wondered mostly who his child was. Had it been a daughter or a son? Did it look like him or Liz? Did it have his powers? Did Liz ever tell their child about its father? Did his own child even know he existed?
Max looked up at the street to see a lone figure standing at the curbside in the rain. As he neared the person waved in his direction, almost as casually as an old friend greeting him.
Max pulled his cab over to the sidewalk's edge. He could discern through the rain that the person seeking his aid was a woman. She was huddled against the rain as the cab pulled to a stop.
The back door opened and the woman got in the car.
Max asked, "Where to?"
The woman shut the door, brushed some of the rain from her coat, then answered, "Uh... the science and history museum."
Max nodded and turned on the meter. With a cautious glance for traffic he pulled out and carefully made his way down the darkened streets in the gently tapping rain.
Max glanced in the rearview mirror at his passenger.
It was a young woman, probably fresh out of college. She was slim, a brunette... beyond that he couldn't tell much. It was dark... the only light thrown into the cab that from the passing street lights.
Max, plagued particularly tonight by the silence, asked, "So... you work at the museum?"
The woman startled a moment, silent, then answered, "Um... no. Well, I hope to. I'm applying for a job there."
Max nodded. The girl had a sweet voice... soothing. Voices didn't sooth him, no one but Liz's ever had, but this one was kind and gentle, and familiar somehow.
The woman's voice rang out again, "Actually, I'm really excited to be here. This city is incredible."
Max smirked, "First time in New York?"
The woman nodded, shifting in the seat, "Yes... first time in ANY big city, actually."
Max nodded, "Small town girl, huh?"
The woman nodded, "Yeah."
Max glanced out his side view mirrors, "I'm a small town boy myself." Max paused to remember, he was forty five now. He chuckled tensely, "Well... guess I'm not really a boy anymore, am I?"
The woman chuckled back lightly, "Well, I guess it all depends where your heart is."
Max glanced in the rearview mirror again at his passenger, catching a glimpse of her bringing a hand up to tuck a strand of straight, wet, dark hair behind her ear idly. The action reminded him of something he'd lost so long ago. He swallowed, then said flatly, "Your parents must be worried about you off on your own in a place like this."
The woman was silent a long time, then answered, "Well... with just cause I suppose. Anyway... all I have is my mother. I've never even met my dad."
Max sighed, "Neither have I." And it WAS true... he'd never met his real mother or father.
The woman seemed to pause in sad repose a moment, then said, "It's not like I was short on family, though. I mean... I had aunts and uncles... the works, I had a good childhood. Besides, my mother was both for me. I can't complain."
Max nodded silently.
The woman let the quiet hang in the air, then asked, "So... you have any family in the city with you?"
Max was hesitant to answer, but something about this woman opened him up a little. Calmed and relaxed a part of him he didn't think could NOT be tense. "No... I haven't seen my family in nearly thirty years."
The woman hissed faintly, "That's awful. I mean... family is important."
Max nodded faintly, then shrugged, "You know what they say... the end justifies the means."
The woman was quiet after that, eyes locked outside the window.
As they passed underneath a well-lit street Max happened to glance in the rearview mirror at her. He startled a little to see the face semi-clearly of the young woman. For a stranger, she looked alot like Liz. Maybe he was just seeing what he wanted to see, but he could swear he saw Liz in this unknown girl.
Her face... it screamed hiddenly of the woman he had lost once. He must be really missing her to start seeing his beloved wife in random passengers.
Without warning, the woman sighed and turned her eyes from the window up to the rearview mirror. Something hauntingly familiar in those golden hazel eyes that met his.
Max shook his head and turned his eyes back to the road, "I'm sure wherever your father is, he would be proud of you."
The woman smiled, looking back out the window but concentrated on her answer as she said, "I think he would be... my mother speaks so highly of him. She doesn't tell me much... I know there are details she's leaving out, but from what I do know... I think he would have loved me."
Max thought in silence, asking finally, "What happened to your father?"
The woman was quiet a long time, then her voice was strained as she answered, "I don't know. He left before I was born. My mom said he had to leave us. She doesn't say much about what and why he left... she tells me about who he was, though. You know... his personality and everything about how much they loved each other. It's something at least... sometimes I feel almost I like I know him."
Another silence followed.
Max, without warning or follow-up, said gently a block from the woman's stop, "Your father does love you."
The woman smiled, he saw it in the rearview mirror. She nodded, "I believe that... I do, even if I've never met him, I believe he does. Just like... like I've never met him... but I love him, too."
Max pulled the car over to the side before the science and history museum.
The woman looked out through the rain-trailed window at the large building, hesitating a moment.
Max actually turned around to look back at her and encourage casually, "You'll do fine."
The woman looked at him and smiled. She nodded, then asked, "How much?"
"Five dollars."
The woman pulled it from her purse, handed it to him, then moved toward the door. She stopped, looked at him a long moment as if thinking intensely about something, then she shook it off and said, "By the way... my name's Melissa."
Max watched the young woman get out of the car, moving quickly through the rain to the tall building as soon as she had left the protection of his temporary care.
Max sat there in silence a moment, finally turning back to the steering wheel and moving the taxi cab out on to the wet road. As he headed for home, a slow and bittersweet smile crossed his face.
As he drove through the increasingly thick rain on the deserted New York streets, he thought about the one act of kindness cruel fate had seemed to cast him on this dark and rainy night twenty five years after he left Liz in Roswell. After all the heartache and torture, at least he was given one moment. At least he finally got to meet his daughter.
END