Title: An Accidental Father
Author: MissAnnThropic
E-Mail: miss_annthropic@yahoo.com
Spoilers: One Breath
Summary: Following her abduction Scully leaves the bureau and her life becomes unrecognizable.
Disclaimer: I own nasing! Really, I don't. All you see here (that you recognize, anyway) is the creation of someone else. I take no credit.



Karen Kosseff, bureau social worker and psychologist on call, saw him in the hallway as she was coming in that morning. She didn't know all the agents in the FBI by name, but she did him. Who could forget someone named 'Fox'? It wasn't just the name, though. He was a truly memorable person. He wasn't particularly pleasant, and he didn't set out to charm the pants off of his contemporaries. Quite the opposite, actually. He came off as short tempered, territorial to a fault, edgy, and aloof. He was certainly a loner, that was for sure. Karen had been working for the FBI's headquarters in Washington D.C. for a while before she got wind of the new agent blowing through, pissing people off left and right as he went. Were it not for his stand-alone brilliance, profiling talent, and intellect he would surely have been dismissed for behavior... not fitting the 'typical agent' profile. His sheer spooky talent for profiling caused him to be tolerated.

Karen remembered her first meeting with Fox Mulder in 1990. He had just found the X Files, having abandoned his recent status in the VCS and BSU for this personal venture. The superiors were furious at his devotion to such an outside-the-mainstream project, and in an attempt to find ANY reason to pull him from it they had hoped he might be diagnosed temporarily mentally incapable of sound decision making. Hence, he was sent for his first meeting with Karen.

Karen remembered it all too well. She hated having to meet with people from profiling, having the behavioral background they did. And meeting with Fox Mulder was twice as horrible. He was not only a fellow psychologist, but she found he was a sterling one... better than herself, even. He was certainly in no way unfit to decide such drastic changes as an internal focus/career move. She could only note that she had never before met a character of the likes of Fox Mulder.

Most of all, she could not remember ever meeting such a lonely and defensive man. His walls to guard his heart were more steadfast than the Great Wall of China. It saddened Karen, and even in memory it bothered her... such a sad and lonely man with such a good, caring heart. It seemed a crime worthy of investigation why no one else could see that golden heart under his mangy coat.

But someone did. In 1993 new agent Dana Katherine Scully was assigned to him to assist in his work on the X Files.

At first, the pairing had seemed a disaster. Karen, along with other agents and staff in the building, constantly saw the two agents bickering. They seemed to fight constantly, hushed and angry whispers or hot and angry glares cast at each other as they walked closely down the hallway. From all outward appearances it seemed, for all intent and purposes, that agents Mulder and Scully were ready to rip each other's throats out.

Despite their outwardly obvious dissension, their solve rates skyrocketed. It was a mystery how two such hostile and uncooperative agents could be so successful as a team. The mystery of their success brought up questions about the old method of agent-pairing. Karen was called upon to meet with them apart and together and find out what was up with their quirky partnership.

Apart, when interviewed, it had seemed just as angry and wrought with tension as their hallway interactions let on. Agent Mulder complained of Scully's rigidness, stubbornness, and relented to her dogged determination and relentlessness. Agent Scully commented in a rather exasperated tone of Mulder's proneness to eccentricity, bullheadedness, and all consuming tenacity. Karen had noted, however, that even as they might complain about their partner, each vehemently defended the professionalism and strength of the other. Apart, from their confessions, it was clear that if nothing else these two agents held a great respect for each other. It seemed, prior to the joint meeting, that such respect might be all that held the partnership strong.

When Karen happened to catch them together waiting for her in her office, she caught of glimpse of who Mulder and Scully REALLY were.

Karen had been walking toward her office, wherein Mulder and Scully were together for the group meeting, and she had stopped short of the door when she heard voices.

"Mulder, settle down."

"Scully... you know as well as I do what this is all about." Karen noticed the very marked edge to Mulder's voice. Maybe even a hint of fear, though Mulder had never spoken with such emotion in his voice before. Intrigued by how different the agents had become when they thought they were alone together, Karen had moved closer to the wall to listen as Mulder picked up his anxious words. "We work too well together, Scully... they're doing this to take you away from me."

Karen blinked. His words were not so shocking in content as they were how they were said. 'take you away from me'... said as if it was an all consuming fear for Agent Mulder. He sounded scared... she'd never heard Agent Fox Mulder afraid before. He was always so calm and cool... collected. Not now... there was a faint edge to his voice... discomfort... fright.

Agent Scully's voice broke his anxious statements with, "Mulder... it's okay. We won't let them separate us. I won't let them."

Karen was stunned. Scully's voice was not as professional and controlled... it had a soft, passionate undertone to it. More than just a work partner talking to another. It was the calm of the collected one in a couple... the way one in the pair will be the edgy one as the other plays moderator. Scully was balancing Mulder's anxiety. Calming him... reassuring him. It was a Scully filled with emotion... stripped of her commando-woman exterior that she kept up and gnawed down to a raw, vulnerable little girl.

Mulder interrupted Karen's thoughts, "They've wanted a way to get at me for YEARS, Scully, years! Now that I have you... they..." Mulder's voice became faint and feeble, "they have a way now."

Karen was shocked. Mulder insecure! Afraid of what the FBI could now do?! Karen was beyond comprehending what she was hearing. 'Now that I have you'? Not even the FBI could believe the kind of leverage they had over Fox Mulder... none of them could fathom how much Agent Mulder had become to depend on his assigned partner... to need her. The loner was alone no more.

Scully's soft voice, gentle but strong, came in, "Mulder... I promise it will be okay... nothing's going to come between us. Trust me."

Karen braced a little at that. 'Trust' and 'Fox Mulder' did not go in the same sentence together. Never had an FBI agent been more paranoid and secluded. He'd so much as told her he trusted no one... hadn't since childhood when he lost his sister at the age of twelve.

Instead of storming out of the room, away from his presumptuous partner, or exploding in a screaming rage, Agent Mulder sighed heavily, Karen heard the sound of him sitting down in the second of her two chairs, then heard him relent in a surrendering voice, "Okay."

Karen regained her composure and stepped into the office, acting as if she had not been privy to the darkest truths of the oddest partnership in the bureau.

Of course, in the meeting the agents had been much more subdued and subtle. Easily missed if she wasn't looking for it. It was just the little things that stood out to Karen as she had gone through different questions. Glances at each other, reassuring but faint smiles, perfectly timed interruptions for the sake of the other when a question too personal was asked, even the way that questions asked to them both they offered answers simultaneously and with the exact same words. There was no question after that to Karen how the agents worked so well together. They loved each other. Maybe not quite as lovers or exactly as best friends, but some form of strong and binding love was there. Enough love for both to overlook any faults in the other or see them as attributes.

Karen, of course, couldn't support this in her official report. She'd tried to ask them how they felt about each other personally, and she'd never seen two grown people backpedal and redirect the conversation more quickly.

It was just enough, really, for Karen to know. So she'd sent the agents off, reporting simply that they were no more than an excellent team and in her opinion any thoughts of reassignment or separation would not be in the best interest of the bureau.

And so, the two agents went on, carrying on as they always had. Bickering constantly in the halls, giving each other incredulous looks anyone else would get offended at... only Karen knowing that underneath the facade was a deep devotion and love for each other.

And then, last year, it happened. Probably the most damaging and detrimental occurrence that could have happened to either agent... the other was taken. Agent Scully was kidnapped by armed psychopath Duane Barry... Mulder had gone in hot pursuit, but when he finally caught up to Duane, Scully had seemingly disappeared. For three months, at the sacrifice of Mulder's own physical and psychological well-being, he searched tirelessly for her. He was a sad sight in the office halls during that time. Unshaven, bloodshot eyes, alternating piercing glares and listless, glazed stares, unkempt suits... he was a wreck. He was lost without his partner.

Then Agent Scully miraculously reappeared, and for the first time in months Agent Mulder seemed to wake up from his stupor. When she awoke from her coma, Karen thought everything would go back to the way they had been. But she was wrong.

She first noticed something was not right with the sulky and silent withdrawn nature observed in Mulder after Scully was released from the hospital. He was depressed... no doubt about it, though he would not talk about it. Even to Scully, he would not voice what was bothering him... Karen knew from the sad but quiet glances she stole at him often when she saw him in the halls. They stopped moving as an item, too. Mulder began moving through the halls by himself, arguing only with the demons in his head.

And then Karen found out why. Dana Scully had been tendering her resignation from the bureau. Karen had been asked to talk to Scully about it the last day before her resignation was acknowledged, still giving her time to change her mind last minute and stay with the FBI. Karen was asked to find out if her experience of being abducted and the terror of being held captive was clouding her judgment and prompting her to make an impulsive and fear-driven decision that she really didn't mean.

The Dana Scully Karen met with that afternoon a year ago was a different Dana Scully than she'd first gotten to know. This Scully sat quietly, solemnly, her professional flair disintegrated.

Karen had sat down across from Agent Scully, studying her almost meek and shameful withdraw before asking, "Dana... you know there are many people who are wondering about your decision to resign from the bureau. Is this something you have given serious thought?"

Scully had sighed, sat in silence a moment, then answered, "It's not a decision made on impulse because I'm frightened by what happened to me, if that's what you mean."

Karen had nodded, content to let her talk.

Scully looked away from the doctor and said, "But being taken DID get me thinking... I have so much more I can do than this... I'm not ready to die for this. I have family, I have... HAD friends..."

"You don't have friends anymore?"

Scully brought a hand to her face, chewing lightly on her thumbnail in thought. "I have one friend."

Karen nodded, then asked, "How is all of this affecting Agent Mulder?"

Having hit a nerve, an untended tear rolled down Scully's check. She ignored it, answering, "He thinks I'm abandoning him... he hasn't said so, but I know that's what he's thinking. I guess he's right... I know he... he thinks I'm a coward. I guess I am... maybe I'm just running away from everything... I guess I'm not as strong as he is."

"You think he's stronger than you?"

Scully smiled at that, "I know he is. His sister... what happened to her... he handled her disappearance well... better than I could have. If I had lost... I couldn't have moved on like he did." Karen could only recount in her mind the absolute wreck Agent Mulder was while Scully was missing.

"Dana... you are a strong person... a very independent person... I want you to think about whether this is best for you or not. Perhaps you underestimate your own strength. Do you really think leaving the bureau is the best option?"

Scully had sniffled, wiping her tear away and saying, "I can't do this... all I think about is all I could have missed out on when I was taken... and that's not fair to Mulder."

"How so?"

"He's so... so passionate... faithful to what he believes in. He deserves better than me."

Karen had smiled faintly, "I don't think he'd agree with you."

At that Scully had looked at Karen, straight in the eye... first time during the whole meeting. She regarded the shrink seriously a moment, then seemed to shrug her notion away and said, "I can't hold him back... he's better off without me... all I've ever done is second-guess him, slow him down... I have no right to do that. Mulder... he doesn't deserve to have anyone hold him down. It's like..." Scully smirked kind of wistfully as she looked out the window, "it's like caging an eagle. Some things are just meant to fly... you know what I mean?"

Karen did. She knew a different, more emotional side of Fox Mulder, even if it was through Scully's eyes. Mulder did have an indomitable spirit... at least in Scully's eyes... if only she could see Mulder through Karen's eyes... see the broken man left behind when Scully was missing, the man breaking as they spoke because of Scully's decision to leave.

"Anyway," Scully said finally, standing up to leave, "I'm going today. Mulder deserves to be free," and with that cryptic remark, she had left the office.

Karen stood, following slowly after Scully. She leaned out of her office just in time to see Scully, heading down the hallway, stop as Mulder was moving in the opposite direction toward her. Karen had a meeting with Mulder as well, intended to determine how he was handling losing his partner. Normally these bureaucratic necessities seemed wholly ridiculous, but in the case of Agents Mulder and Scully, they were seriously needed. There was real question how both could handle separation like this.

Mulder stopped before Scully, and for a moment they seemed to just stand there, looking into each other's eyes. Slowly and in hushed tones a few words were exchanged, sad expressions were passed back and forth, and then together, as if on cue, they moved into a hug. Mulder wrapped his arms around Scully, pulling her into his body with the look of a man who was lost at sea. Scully, closing her eyes, snuggled into him, wrapping her arms around his body and holding him tight. Mulder brought one hand up to her head, running his fingers through his hair and whispering something to her as he pressed his lips against the top of her head.

For a moment they stood like that, moving apart slowly and at the same time. A last word was exchanged, hands reached out to clasp together for one last loving squeeze, then Scully moved off toward the elevator and Mulder stepped toward Karen's office. Scully's head was hung low and Mulder secretly reached up to brush away a tear from his eye.

Karen had started out gently with Mulder, clearly seeing an internal agony in his eyes.

"How does Scully's leaving make you feel, Fox?"

Mulder had paused, quiet a long time. Karen had half expected him to begin crying silently as Scully had. Instead, he took a deep breath and answered, "Relieved... grateful."

Karen was taken aback, "Really... why is that?"

Mulder smirked, looking out the same window Scully had as he answered, "Scully doesn't deserve this... she deserves better than this and better than me... maybe now... maybe now she'll find it."

Karen had responded softly, "When I spoke with Agent Scully, she said YOU deserve better than HER."

Mulder shook his head, stating bluntly without looking at the doctor, "There's no one better than Scully... I've never been worthy of someone like her."

"She says she feels she's held you back."

Mulder answered just as bluntly, "She set me free."

Karen was silent a long time, shocked by the mirror image the two agents' conversations compared to each other, then asked, "If this is all true... did you try to talk Agent Scully out of her decision?"

"No... I encouraged it."

"But why?"

Mulder had sighed sadly in disheartened resignation, "There is so much more for Scully out there than what my life can offer her. She deserves to live it all... I could never give her what she deserves... when it comes down to it, I'm not enough."

"Do you think Scully thinks you're not enough for her?"

Mulder shrugged, "I'm not sure SHE knows it or not, but I do. She's too good for me... and I think maybe I was afraid of that... I've never met anyone I felt I had to work for. All my life, whatever I was was good enough... with Scully, it was the first time I felt like I had to be more. I don't think I'm strong enough for that."

Karen had not had the chance to comment before Mulder had utterly faintly, "I hope she finds all she's looking for," then stepped out of the office.

Agent Scully did leave the bureau, becoming once again Dana Scully, sans 'agent'. She still lived in her apartment in Georgetown, eventually taking up a job as an ER nurse at Georgetown Medical. For a long time, that was the last Karen would hear about Dana Scully... though she saw Mulder often, as she had that morning, as he walked by her in the hallway. He never looked quite the same. He was dejected, downtrodden... he'd all but given up.



****



Fox Mulder moved to his basement office, frowning at the utter silence of the dungeon layer. He still hadn't gotten used to Scully's absence. On early mornings he would still find himself stepping inside and moving his eyes first to the back area where Scully had always lingered. He still caught himself every once in a while looking up when he heard the basement elevator bell chime and expect for a full second or two for Scully to walk through that door. Right after she left he actually expected her to... to just come back, profess she'd made a mistake, and return to work by his side... she never did. That truth, that she wasn't coming back, was only now, a year later, starting to really sink in.

Mulder moved to his desk after carelessly tossing his jacket on to the coat rack, looking at his answering machine where the little red light was flashing. He hesitating listening to them, instead backtracking through his caller I.D. He found that Margaret Scully had called.

Mulder had been kept up with how Scully was doing by Scully's mother, whom he suspected was always secretly rooting for him. Mulder had always been particularly fond of Margaret Scully... maybe it was that quality in her that made her a Scully that he was obviously drawn to. In many ways, with Scully gone, she became his best friend. Scully rarely spoke with Mulder, not contacting him. He responded in kind, leaving her alone. He figured she was getting on with a normal life, and he didn't feel he had the right to intercede his weird existence in her average life now.

It was only through Mrs. Scully's frequent correspondence with him that he found out that Scully's life now was anything but average. Scully had changed when she left. Her mood was more bitter, harsh... she was more apt to impulsiveness, even started sleeping around with a strange man neither Mrs. Scully nor any of the rest of the family had met or knew anything about. The last he'd heard about eight months ago was that Scully was pregnant. He had wanted to be happy for her, and would have been, were in not shrouded in the mask of the stranger who had seemingly taken over Scully's personality.

Mulder didn't know if he could bare to hear any more news about a Dana Scully he didn't recognize. It killed him to hear it, and it did so because he still loved her. New exterior and all, there was still the Scully in her that he cared deeply for. He was wiling to let her go... to set her free from the small life he offered her, but what Scully had become... it was not right. It was not what he'd thought he was releasing his partner to. Scully deserved to be so much more... SO much more.

Mulder cleared his caller I.D., then pressed the answering machine button.

He zoned out until he heard the familiar voice of Maggie Scully, "Fox... it's just Mom. I need to talk to you... Chris died... a motorcycle accident," Chris... the man Scully had been involved with... the man whose child she was carrying, "I'm worried about Dana. Please, I need to speak with you."

Maggie had been speaking with Mulder for only a few months when she learned from Scully (Mulder was a little surprised to find out that for a while after Scully first left the FBI she enjoyed telling her mom about him) that his own mother had been a pathetic excuse. Maggie had asked him if he would let her be his mother... if not in blood than in love. Mulder was stunned, but agreed. It took him a while to get used to calling her mom as she insisted, but it was a Scully, and he couldn't help but love her for it. She truly had turned out to be a better mother to him that his own genetic one was.

Mulder picked up the phone, dialing Maggie's house. Even when he didn't want to hear any more distressing news about Dana, he found a small comfort in calling 'Mom' and getting to talk to her. She always made her adoptive son Fox feel better... like he still had someone who cared.

"Hello?" her voice suddenly filled the ear piece.

"Mom... it's me."

"Fox? Oh, thank god I reached you." She sounded very upset... fretful.

"Is everything okay? How's Scully?"

"Fox... I need to talk to you privately... could you come to the house?"



****



Mulder pulled up at Maggie's house an hour later, having left the office immediately. He looked around for Scully's car, not finding it in the driveway. He wasn't sure if he was grateful or disappointed. He'd not seen her since she left the bureau.

Mulder went to the front door, testing the doorknob before he knocked. It was unlocked, so he simply opened it and stepped inside. He stopped in the foyer, closing the door and calling out, "Mom? You here?"

Maggie came at his call from the hallway, "Fox... I'm so glad you're here."

Mulder stepped toward her, "Are you okay? What's wrong... why did you want to talk to me? Is Scully okay?"

Maggie motioned to the couch, "Come here, Fox... let me speak with you."



****



Maggie, once settled in the couch opposite Mulder, looked him in the eye and started, "Dana never loved Chris."

Mulder blinked, not expecting the conversation to start like this. He just sat there quietly, though, willing to listen to whatever Maggie felt she had to tell him.

Maggie nodded, then said, "For a while... right after she resigned, she would talk to me. She doesn't anymore... she's stopped caring... but she used to talk to me like when she was a little girl. She told me why she was so wrapped up in Chris."

Mulder nodded for her to continue.

Maggie looked him in the eye, "She was trying to forget you."

Mulder was silent a moment, stunned, then said, "But... we were never..."

"I know, Fox... I know... Dana told me, you were never together. It doesn't matter... she loved you. In whatever dysfunctional way it was, you'd become the man in her life. She left because she was afraid she was only holding you back."

Mulder startled, "Holding me back?! She set me free... I was freer with her by my side than I've ever been..." Mulder stopped when he saw a stunned look on Maggie's face and tears forming in her eyes. "Mom? What's wrong?"

"She... she said she was slowing you down. I just assumed she was right... she usually has a good head about these things... she was wrong?"

Mulder nodded, flabbergasted, "YES! Sorry... but, yes... she was completely wrong. If I knew she felt that way I might have talked to her before she left."

Maggie was soaking in what she'd learned. Then she spoke gently, "She told me she thought of you as an eagle once."

Mulder quirked his face, wondering where this was going or where it could have come from.

Maggie continued, "She said she'd look at you, your passion and wild spirit and she felt horrible for being a weight on you... that birds that noble were never meant to be tied down... she said she did it to set you free."

Mulder dropped his eyes to the coffee table (Scully though he was 'noble'?), commenting faintly, "She should have watched the discovery channel more closely... someone should have told her many eagles pair for life."

Maggie was getting control of her amazement, her voice coming down as she said, "That's why I think I wanted to get closer to you... to get to know you. I could see in Dana that she needed you... that you were what she wanted. I kept expecting her to come out of her stupor, to wake up and go back to you. I was hoping I'd regain my daughter then as well as having gained a son.

"Chris... none of us expected him. I think it was Dana's last attempt to block you from her memory. She stopped talking to me not long after she started dating Chris, but she did tell me she didn't love him... not when she was still in love with you."

Mulder asked carefully, "What about the baby?"

Maggie frowned, "I don't know... by that time Dana had stopped talking to me. If I know my daughter, she's looking forward to being a mother, but I don't know anymore... I don't know my daughter. I was..." Maggie looked up at Mulder, "I was hoping you could talk to her."

Mulder jerked to his feet, stepping away and looking down at Maggie. He tried to wrap his head around the request, then shook his head slowly and said, "I... I can't. I don't know what Scully's reasons were for leaving me, but I know my reasons for letting her go. I WANTED her to have this life... a semi-NORMAL existence. I can't give her that... I don't want to step in and screw up her life even more than I already have."

"Fox, please. She won't speak to anyone in the family... we've all tried. Believe me, I know you two have been having your problems with this, I wouldn't have come to you asking you to do this if it wasn't the very last hope."

Mulder sighed heavily, shoulders shagging. "All right... all right... I'll talk to her. Next week... we have 'something' coming up two days from now... I have to give that my full attention, but after that... I'll talk to her."

Maggie stood, "Oh... thank you, Fox... thank you so much."



****



Dana Scully moved laboriously to the front desk. In two weeks she was going on maternity leave, but she still had a few more rounds to make it through. Her protruding stomach made emergencies difficult, but she discovered she was incredibly resourceful when it was necessary.

Katy, behind the desk and working the phone and EMT lines, looked up at Dana. "Hey... how you holding up, Blimpie?"

Scully sneered at the remark, "Fine... what you got?"

Katy looked at the board, "Nothing much right now, I just put on the charts..." her observation was interrupted by a shrill static buzz from the ambulance line, "GEORGETOWN MEMORIAL... PICK UP!"

Katy jumped on the phone, pressed the transmission line, "This is Georgetown Medical, ER... what you got?"

"Three down... gunshot wounds... can you take them?"

Katy checked the beds as Dana stood by, anxiously waiting to hear what they were going to have next.

"Yes, EMT, we can take them. What are their conditions?"

"First one coming in is the most critical... gunshot wound to the abdomen, lower quadrant. Massive blood loss, BP unstable, heart rate is dropping..."

Katy nodded, asking, "What is this, another drug shoot-out?"

The EMT answered, "It's worse... FBI drug sting gone wrong. The three criticals being brought in are federal agents... ETA two minutes."

Katy dropped the phone, looking up to find Scully had turned a lighter shade of pale. Katy quickly stood, asking, "You used to be FBI, didn't you, Dana?"

Scully nodded.

Katy hurried past Scully, throwing over her shoulder as she did, "Bet you're glad you got out now."

Scully dropped her eyes, heart sagging.



****



The doors flew open to the Georgetown Medical Center ER ambulance bay, a stretcher surrounded by technicians sliding quickly into the hallway.

Scully stood by the desk, a faintness sinking into her as she watched the gurney draw closer and knew that her previously fellow comrades were coming in... near death's door. She wonder if she had been there where she was supposed to be if she could have made a difference.

The stretcher turned, moving toward the first ER room. Scully's eyes fell on the man on the bed, his torso covered in blood. It almost took her too long to pull her eyes from the massive blood loss to find his face. When she did her scream seemed to stop the entire ER in their tracks, "MULDER!"

Scully flew at the gurney, pushing aside the doctor nearest the fallen agent's head, looking down closer at the face of the man. It was who she thought it was... Fox Mulder.

His eyes were half open, but his visual range was not registering... the haughty encroachment of death was close on his heels. The air bag pushing oxygen into his lungs was being manned by an intern. Mulder's glazed eyes seemed to darken as Scully moved quickly alongside the stretcher.

Katy, frantically making out a chart for the man, had seen Scully scream something and jump to the stretcher's side. She asked the EMT's, "Do you got an ID? Who is this man?"

Scully called out in a voice that suddenly seemed weak to her, "Special Agent Fox William Mulder, badge number JTT047101111, six feet tall, 180 pounds, 34 years old, birth date 10/13/61, no allergies or preexisting medical conditions, blood type A positive."

Katy stared at Scully, dumbfounded, then looked up at the EMT's. They nodded, "She's right as far as we know... she said things we don't even know about."

The EMT's left as the gurney was rushed into the trauma room. Katy asked Scully as she quickly set about finding an intubation tray, "How did you know all that?"

Scully, ashy and pale, responded faintly, "He was my partner."

At that moment Mulder jerked, coughing faintly and his breath sounds gurgling in his throat with blood.

Scully jumped to his head, ripping away the hand bag and tilting back his head to thread the intubation guide tool and wire into his mouth.

Mulder, eyes still half closed and glazed, coughed at her insertion of the metal device in his mouth. Scully swallowed heavily, "Jesus, Mulder... quit being difficult."

Mulder's cough subsided and Scully managed to snake the guide wire and tube down his tracheae. She pulled out the wire and hooked up the intubation tube, moving to his side instantly as other doctors were looking at the damage.

"Damn... look at all this blood."

Scully shot a fiery glare at first year doctor who'd said it, then barked, "CAN SOMEONE GET ME SOME O OR A POSITIVE BLOOD IN HERE?!"

Scully ripped his shirt open, finding he was not wearing a bullet proof vest. Scully blinked away tears at the sight of his blood-covered stomach and cursed, "God DAMNIT, MULDER! Why the FUCK weren't you wearing Kevlar?"

Mulder didn't answer, of course. His only response was his heart rate to take a nose dive.

Scully cursed, "SHIT, we have to stop this bleeding."

Scully ripped open a new trauma kit, leaning over to Mulder's head and whispering harshly, "Don't you even THINK about dying on me, Mulder... don't you dare!"



****



Scully watched as they rushed Mulder up to the OR, he'd died once on the table before they could stabilize his perforated bowel long enough for him to survive the elevator ride up to the operating table... beyond that was unsure. She stood in the middle of the trashed ER, covered in blood and shaking. She'd not shaken so badly in all her life.

Katy came up to her, seeing her frailer than Dana Scully had ever been.

"Dana?"

Scully blinked and shivered. Katy touched her arm, "Dana... you gonna be okay?"

Scully answered faintly, "We... we need to notify his emergency contact."

Katy glanced down at the chart in her hands, "I was just doing that... his emergency contact is you."

Scully looked up at Katy. Even after this last year, he still trusted her with his life? He'd probably just forgotten to change it. Scully only nodded numbly and took the chart, signing him off for the surgery.



****



Scully followed the trauma team slowly up to the OR. She found the room where Mulder was being operated on. She slowly put on a gown and a mask, the whole time feeling like she was outside her body. With a final stop to gather her breath, she stepped into the OR.

The sounds of the numerous machines filled her ears, along with the anxious and busy voices of the surgeons. The head surgeon looked up and saw her, "You can't be in here, ma'am."

The surgical intern looked over, recognizing Scully from his ER rotation, "Doctor Scully... what are you doing here?"

"How is he?"

The head surgeon barked, "Get out of here!"

Scully felt tears threatening, "Please... he's... he's my partner."

The head surgeon looked up, "Your WHAT?"

The intern took over, filling him in as they worked, "Last year Doctor Scully resigned from the FBI as a field agent... I take it this man we're working on now was her FBI partner."

By the time the intern had explained it to the head surgeon, Scully was at Mulder's head. The head surgeon just rolled his eyes, tired of barking and returning his attention to his patient.

Mulder's mouth was open, all manner of tubes going in. His eyes had finally shut, a smear of blood was on his forehead.

Scully bent closer, as close as her stomach would let her. She reached up, brushing the caked blood from his brow, "Come on, Mulder... don't give up on me."

"Doctor! His blood pressure is dropping!" a nurse yelled. The surgeon began ordering the proper medication to stabalize his patient.

Scully bent closer, her lips near Mulder's ear, as she spoke imploringly, "Come on, Mulder... hold on for me... it's Scully... don't leave me... come on back... don't die on me, Mulder... stay with me..."

"Doctor," the nurse said, "his blood pressure's rising."

"Good job."

"Doctor... I haven't given him the medicine yet."

Everyone turned to look at Scully by the agent's head, whispering to him. She continued her requests to the unconscious man, and slowly (though no one in the room could explain it) his heart rate began to improve... then his BP leveled out... then his respirations came easier. The surgeons finished patching him up, still casting Scully stunned glances as she effectively murmured in Mulder's ear, "Don't leave me, Mulder... you stay with me... it's going to be okay."



****



Mulder was down and out for two weeks, in and out of consciousness at first and then so doped up on morphine and drugs to ward off infection that he had no idea of where he was, much less the fleeting visits Scully paid him. She would stop in the hallway, standing outside his door. After the initial ER visit and operation, she was reluctant to be near him... to get close to him. It would be better for him if she didn't see him. Instead, she would stand outside his door, looking in on him as he slept, grateful to hear from passing nurses that he was improving... that he was going to survive.



****



Mulder opened his eyes slowly, blinking out the light and then focusing on the dark object beside him. It slowly came into focus... turning from a dark blob into Margaret Scully.

Mulder blinked again to make sure she was there, then cleared his throat weakly and whispering hoarsely, "Hi, Mom."

Maggie looked up quickly, "Fox? Are you awake?"

Mulder blinked heavily, still drugged, and answered, "More or less... what happened?"

Maggie moved closer, "You were shot on a drug bust, Fox... they brought you to the emergency room... you had to have an operation. You've been here for two weeks."

Mulder nodded, sighing slowly to himself. He looked over at her, finding she still looked troubled, "What's wrong?"

Maggie looked up, "It's Dana."

Mulder tensed, causing a searing pain in his abdomen, "What's wrong? What's happened?"

Maggie frowned, "She's having complications with her pregnancy. She was the ER doctor that treated you, did you know that?"

Mulder shook his head, "Scully... is she..."

Maggie fought off tears, "Her uterus started hemorrhaging. They've been giving her bed rest and she's here in the hospital under observation... the bleeding hasn't stopped."

Mulder frowned, "What... what's going to happen?"

Maggie frowned, "Her blood's not clotting... they're not sure why... they can't risk a C section... they're going to induce labor today... hoping she'll deliver quickly enough for them to immediately after perform an emergency hysterectomy."

Mulder closed his eyes, pained at the words. He looked at Maggie, "When's she due?"

"Not for another four weeks."

Mulder shifted in the bed, hissing when the searing pain ripped through his stomach. He wanted to get up... to go see her. Maggie placed a hand on his shoulder, seeing him flinch heavily in pain. "Don't, Fox... don't try to move."

"I have to go see her..."

"You're not well enough to get out of bed, Fox... please, don't hurt yourself even more."

"But Scully..."

"Shh... Fox... don't, please... I can't handle this right now."

Mulder settled down, fearing for the elder Scully's health as well.

Maggie sniffled, then said, "I'm going to check on Dana... try to get some rest."



****



Mulder laid in his recovery bed all day. He heard no word... never seeing any of the Scully family again that night. He was up waiting until five a.m. when he fell into a fitful and restless sleep.



****



When Mulder woke, it was to the presence of someone else in his room. Mulder jerked awake, instantly recognizing the figure at his bedside as Maggie.

Mulder asked quickly, "Mom... how's Scully?"

Maggie, head down, said gently and in a strained voice, "She delivered a 6 pound baby girl... she's in the neonatal ICU... she's in an incubator... typical preemie care..."

Mulder brushed aside the baby's well-being. "How is Scully? Is she okay? Can I see her?"

Maggie didn't answer, didn't look up. Instead she began crying faintly, answering finally in a broken voice, "They... they couldn't stop the bleeding... she'd just... she'd lost too much blood..."

Mulder felt his world go gray... color draining from his face and all the features before his eyes. "But... but she's... she's okay... right?"

Maggie looked up at Mulder, her eyes streaming with tears, "She's gone, Fox... she just... too much blood..."

Mulder sank back on to his pillow, shutting his eyes. He couldn't believe it... wouldn't believe it. Scully wasn't dead... she couldn't have died having a baby... the normal thing that was supposed to make her life better... not be killed by something that he had let her leave him for. Tears slipped through his eyelashes, falling to his pillow with abandon, though he refused to admit they were for something real.



****



The next week passed in a blur. He couldn't distinguish one moment from the next, and nor did he care to. Maggie came by a few times, he seemed to vaguely remember hearing her mention that there was something important she needed to talk to him about, but he hadn't held into reality long enough to be sure.

On Friday, without attempting to, he started to come out of his stupor. He was informed that he was well enough to walk around. The cathader was removed and he was expected to make it to the bathroom on his own.

Mulder was sitting up in bed after making one such trip when Maggie came in.

"Fox... you're up."

Mulder nodded blankly.

Maggie came to his side, touching his arm a moment then asking, "Are you okay? You need anything?"

Mulder asked, "How long has it been?"

Maggie frowned, "A week, Fox."

Mulder shut his eyes tightly... an entire week... it was even too late to say good-bye to her body.

Mulder sighed shakily, then asked Maggie faintly without looking up at her, "Can I see it?"

Maggie nodded, "Come on."



****



Mulder, slowly and at great pains, moved through the hospital corridors. Maggie led him gingerly to the neonatal special care unit. Mulder stopped at the door. Maggie let him have his pause, waiting for Mulder to nod he was ready to continue.

Mulder moved inside of his own accord, looking around the room where incubators and bassinettes cradled small, weak infants.

Maggie directed him quietly toward the back wall. She stopped him before an incubator. Mulder looked down at it, seeing that the side tag read "Scully, Dana K."

Mulder swallowed heavily, moving to the side to look into the incubator. Upon the towel inside laid a small body... a small infant girl. She was dressed only in a tiny diaper and pink cap. She was lying on her stomach, her little back rising and falling quickly with her fast breathing. She was not hooked up to any tubes... at least she was breathing on her own.

Mulder stepped closer. So tiny... the baby was so incredibly small. A small pink face was turned in his direction, eyes clamped shut in sleep.

Mulder brought up his hand, fingers touching the glass gingerly. Mulder blinked at the small person who was half Scully, then looked over at Maggie, "If Scully's... and Chris is dead, who's going to take care of her?"

Maggie paled a little, then said, "That's what I need to talk to you about, Fox... she addressed guardianship in her will."

A nurse came by, seeing the familiar face of Maggie Scully and moving closer, "Mrs. Scully... would you like to hold her?"

Maggie nodded, "Sure."

The nurse moved to the incubator, Mulder shuffling aside. The nurse looked over at Mulder, asking cheerfully, "Are you the father?" Mulder grimaced and turned his eyes away. The nurse frowned regretfully at having upset him so and returned her attention to the baby.

The nurse opened the machine, reaching inside, turning the small infant over, wrapping the towel around her small body, then gathering her up and withdrawing her.

The nurse handed the small Scully baby to Maggie, then left with a smile.

Maggie looked down at her granddaughter, then up at Fox. He was watching, a painful expression on his face.

Maggie stepped closer to him, "Fox... do you want to hold her?"

"No."

Maggie frowned, patting the small bundle in her arms, then moving to the incubator, but stopping in front of Mulder.

Maggie frowned, "Are you sure, Fox?"

Mulder looked down at the small girl, but made no attempt to reach for her.

Maggie placed the infant back in the incubator, closing it and turning to Fox, "There's something we need to talk about... I'll meet you back in your room... give you a minute alone."

Maggie turned, leaving Mulder alone as promised.

Mulder stepped closer to the glass. The baby, now lying on her back, stirred at the recent handling. She yawned, opening her small mouth wide, then pulling open her little eyes. Mulder could already see the hint of blue that would mirror Scully's eyes. He thought he might break down at the sight.

Mulder brought a hand up, reaching it into the hole in the incubator's side. He moved his hand toward the baby. The tiny infant kicked and crooned as Mulder brushed a finger against her cheek. She turned toward his finger, capturing it in her mouth in a rooting reflex. Mulder bit his lip, pulling his finger out of her mouth to touch her small hand. The baby gripped his finger when it touched her palm.

Mulder finally withdrew his hand altogether, moving away toward the doorway.



****



Mulder blinked at the lawyer, not sure he could believe what he was hearing. He looked over at Maggie and Bill Jr., who had come to give his mother moral support in the wake of losing yet another daughter. There was no jest in their eyes... this was real.

Mulder turned back to the lawyer, licking his lips and asking weakly, "Are you... are you sure she wants ME?"

The lawyer nodded, looking again at the paper in his hands, "In Dana Scully's revised last will and testament she asked guardianship of her baby be given to one Fox Mulder... that IS you, right?"

Mulder just nodded, looking over at Maggie, "Mo..." he looked up at Bill, deciding to change his wording, "Margaret... why would Scully leave her daughter under MY care?"

Maggie smiled faintly, tears ever present in her eyes, "Fox... a mother would only leave her child to the person she trusts most in the world. Dana had that kind of faith in you."

Mulder blinked, still reeling and trying to take it all in, "But... I don't know... how to take care of a baby."

Bill spoke up, "Mom or I are willing to claim custody, if you think you can't do it."

Mulder nodded blankly, feeling a little better at the fact that if he chickened out, at least the baby wouldn't go to adoption services... that at least she would be with family and not strangers.

Maggie saw the turmoil surrounding Mulder as he tried to soak it in. She patted Bill's hand on her shoulder and stood, "Come on... let's give him some time alone to think... neither one's going home from the hospital any time soon."

Bill and Maggie left, Mulder still sitting in his bed, eyes locked unblinking on his blanket.

The lawyer stood to follow suit, but hung back. When Maggie and Bill were gone, the man reached into his pocket and withdrew an envelope.

"This was also among her things when I received this case. I wanted to give it to you alone, because you are the only name on the envelope." The lawyer handed Mulder the folded envelope. "I'm sorry for your loss," then turned to leave Mulder alone, placing the will on the table beside Mulder's bed.

Mulder sat in utter silence a moment, trying to absorb all he'd been told in the last half an hour, then he looked down at his hands, which held the letter. On the front, written in her painfully familiar handwriting, was 'MULDER'.

Mulder swallowed, then opened the envelope and withdrew the paper. He unfolded it slowly, blinking away tears, then began to read;

By the time you read this, I'm not sure we've patched things up between us. I hope we have... I never wanted to lose your friendship. You were my best friend through so much... I hope to God we got that back. I know for a while after I left things were difficult... I was only staying away to help you... without me in the way you were free on your quest. I never stopped caring about you, even when I would not contact you. It was all what I felt would be best for you... I know it wasn't for me. I felt terrible not seeing you... I miss you.

I know all this might seem strange to you... what I've become... Chris, the baby... everything. It seems strange to me. I don't recognize the person I've become. The real Dana Scully still seems to linger behind me in the basement office we once shared. Maybe if I weren't such a coward I could call you, talk to you, and I know that if I could just see you again everything would be all right. But I can't... it's not fair to you. You deserve so much more than I could ever give you, Mulder... and for that reason I had to let you go. I remember Ahab telling me once when I was a kid... if you love something, set it free. That's all I wanted for you, Mulder, for you to be free.

I don't ask you to understand what I've been doing these last few months... I don't even understand it. I felt lost, fallen from grace, however bleak it may have been before. And I felt I would be lost forever until I found out I was pregnant. Maybe in this child I can regain what grace in life I once had. I hope so... I fear the stranger who looks out from the mirror at me every morning.

When Chris died, I did not grieve his loss... not while I still grieved losing you. I never loved him... he was yet another development in my new and unfamiliar life that I wanted to run from... run to you and hide my face from it in your arms. Maybe one day, when my decision a year ago is not so raw on our minds, we can get back to that.

If you're reading this, then something has happened to take me from you and my baby. If we haven't been able to patch things up, then I wouldn't blame you if you don't want to take on the responsibility my will has laid out for you. I just know of only one person I always entrusted with my life... one person I would have faith in to care for my child. If it's too much for you to do alone, I'll understand. Mom would love to have her grandchild in her care. I just want you to know that you're my first choice... you were always my first choice.

Mulder... I still love you. I never even told you before that I did, but I had loved you... and I still love you. I'm sorry I had to go, but please understand I thought it was the best for you. Whatever you decide, I know it will be what you feel is right in your heart, and I have complete faith in that.

Lastly, if you ARE reading this, then I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for ditching you, and I'm sorry that you have to read this letter at all. I would have wished for so much more than this for both of us... I guess some wishes are even beyond God.

I trust you will make the right decision, whatever it is. I have all my trust in you... as always. All my love and all my trust.

Your partner,

Dana Katherine Scully



****



Mulder shuffled late at night through the hospital halls, wishing desperately he could just have his own shoes back. He was trying to be quiet, not alerting anyone to his movements.

Silently, he made his way to the neonate ward. He found the special care unit, just as Maggie had shown him earlier today.

He moved into the room, sneaking quietly without calling for a nurse to the back of the room, finding the incubator that held Scully's daughter.

The baby was sleeping, but she seemed moments from rousing. She was whimpering, arms stretching and bending. Mulder leaned in close to the glass, looking down at the little body. Such small hands and feet... all ten fingers and toes accounted for, though. To the extent of Mulder's parenting knowledge, she seemed healthy enough. The baby opened her mouth, sticking out her tongue then opening her eyes. They fought to focus on Mulder, who was just too far away to come into sharp clarity for her young eyes. Her small dark blue eyes were locked on him, trying to catch his facial features in the dark.

"Sir?"

Mulder turned, not expecting anyone to be here. He saw a nurse, decked out in her work scrubs, standing behind him. She addressed him faintly, "There's not supposed to be visitors in here this late, sir."

Mulder nodded, "Yeah... I know... would it make a difference if I was a patient?"

The nurse looked at him, "I don't think you're a patient in the neo ward," then she looked down at his hospital gown, asking, "why are you in here?"

Mulder answered after he threw a glance at the boxed baby behind him, "Gunshot wound."

She flinched painfully, hissing and looking over at the baby Mulder was standing near, "Are you the father?"

Mulder swallowed, "No... I'm... her mother was my... my best friend... she named me... legal guardian."

The nurse smiled sadly. She knew that this particular infant's mother had died. Records listed the father as deceased, killed from a vehicle accident months earlier (she had questioned this man about paternity merely to demand identification)... so far the only person in the see the baby girl was her grandmother and uncle.

The nurse smiled as sweetly as she could at Mulder, ""Oh... you must be Fox Mulder," the nurse said slowly. "Well... I guess it's different if you're a patient... you can stay."

Mulder tried badly to fake a smile, "Thanks."

The nurse stepped toward the baby, Mulder turning as well to look at her.

Mulder looked down at the baby, who had taken to blinking heavily and kicking her legs.

"Why is she in here? Is she sick?"

The nurse shook her head, "No... it's just standard procedure with preemies... she's actually quite healthy. In fact, we would probably have her out of here and going home already... if we just knew who to give her to..." she looked up at Mulder, "Are we to assume now that's you?"

Mulder didn't answer, instead moving closer to the incubator, "What's her name?"

The nurse shrugged, "She doesn't have one... right now we just call her the Scully baby. We were expecting Dana's mother to name the child, but when she read the will from Dana Scully's lawyer... Margaret said to wait and let you name her."

Mulder jerked his head up, blinking at the nurse, "Maggie wants ME to name her?"

The nurse nodded, "Would you like the birth certificate?"

Mulder nodded blankly, too stunned to articulate coherent thoughts, much less words.

The nurse moved off to get the paperwork, but stopped short and returned to Mulder, asking, "How long ago were you shot?"

Mulder thought, trying to gather the irrelevant knowledge, "Um... about three weeks I think... why?"

"That's long enough... do you want to hold her?"

Mulder paled a little, but he couldn't quite find his tongue to say no.

The nurse smiled, then reached forward to lift up the side of the incubator, "Here... at least you can touch her if you want... I'll be right back."

Mulder stepped up to the plastic crib where Scully's baby lay. The infant stared up at Mulder again, thick eyes blinking heavily.

Mulder stared down at the baby a long while, imagining this little person being Scully's return to grace. The little baby smacked her mouth, then whimpered and arms flailed... she seemed to reach toward Mulder.

Mulder, without thinking and moving in a kind of daze, reached in and moved one hand underneath the baby's back, the other under her head. Heart pounding as he pictured dropping her, he lifted the baby out of the incubator.

The little arms stilled, instead seeming to hover in space before Mulder. The small rasping noises of the baby's breath seemed to echo in the silence.

The baby was small, but not incredibly smaller than full term babies. Her pink skin was flushed from the warmth of the incubator.

The nurse returned, paperwork in hand, but slowed when she saw the man with the child in his arms.

Mulder looked up from the baby in his hands to the nurse. The nurse smiled, setting the paperwork down and asking, "How did you know her mother?"

Mulder, as if to unconsciously shield her from the pain of Mulder and Scully's past together, pulled the baby against his body, tucking her near his warmth as he answered, "We were both field agents in the FBI... we were partners."

The nurse's eyes opened wider, "FBI? Are you still an agent?"

Mulder nodded, "Yeah... that's how I got shot... in the line of duty."

"Wow... sounds interesting. Do you enjoy it?"

Mulder tried his best to smirk, "Might not be best to ask me that right after they dug a bullet out of my gut... but yeah, I used to. Now... there's nothing really there for me anymore."

The nurse looked down, noticing with a faint smile the way the man had without even thinking took the baby to him, holding her securely against him as he spoke. The girl crooned faintly, snuggling into his warm body and beginning to fall asleep. He was good with kids... or maybe just with the baby of his best friend.

The nurse sighed down sadly at the baby, drawing Mulder's attention back to it, then mused, "It's always heartbreaking to see families get torn apart like this. Some of the people downstairs knew Dana... they've come over to make sure the baby was all right. Katy, down in the ER, was telling me about you."

Mulder looked up, "Me?"

"Yeah... you know your old partner treated you in the ER, didn't you?"

Mulder nodded, "I'd been told as much... I don't remember it."

"I don't suppose you would. When they brought you in, from the looks of it you weren't going to make it. The doctors figured you'd die on the table before you even made it to the OR... but then your partner saw you and went to help treat you... I'll never forget this story as long as I live... Katy told me you were sliding downhill fast, but Dana came in and told you not to die, told you to hang on, and you did."

Mulder smirked in earnest this time... even near death she was holding him back, to his benefit, from what he couldn't do.

The nurse shook her head, "The surgeons said the same thing happened in the OR. Ms. Scully went up after you were taken into surgery... they said she spoke to you the entire time... telling you to hang on and stay with her, and that your vitals all improved, without medication, even. You think you were listening to her?"

Mulder nodded faintly, "I imagine so... Scully could have told me to walk through fire and I would have."

The nurse shook her head, "Amazing... that you'd be dying and listen to her enough to come back. I'll bet you made her day."

Mulder looked down at the infant, now fast asleep in his arms, one tiny hand in her mouth as she tried, without coordination, to suck her thumb. Mulder frowned, staring at the small face a minute, then asking the nurse, "What would you do?"

The nurse looked down at the baby, smiling gently, "She's a beautiful baby... I think I'd do whatever I thought was best for the child... but..." the nurse studied the man's face. Mulder looked up at her when he was met with silence. The nurse continued, "but I think there might be something to be said for faith in a mother's ability to make the right choice for her child. In any case, it's your decision. I have no doubt Margaret Scully would take her if you decide not to."

Mulder nodded, sadly considering the small baby in his arms.

The nurse reclaimed the paperwork, "I have her birth certificate here... do you know what you want to name her?"

Mulder looked up at the papers, moving to the incubator and carefully pulling the baby away from his body.

The little girl whimpered, complaining at the loss of contact. Mulder smiled fleetingly at her complaints, then laid her down carefully on the towel and turned to the nurse. He took the papers, staring at them a long time.



****



Dawn found him sitting in the chair beside the incubator, still looking at the papers. A pen sat nearby. He was looking from the baby to Scully's name written on the mother's line.

And it was in that early dawn of wondering that it hit him... Scully had already named her daughter herself. Mulder reached for the pen, poising it over the baby's name line. He considered his decision only a moment, then put the pen to the paper and wrote 'Grace Katherine Scully'.

Mulder set the pen down, looking at the name he'd scribed, then up at the baby in front of him.



****



A week later, Mulder was ready to go home. Maggie was there with him, having brought him some clothes from home in a bag as well as driving his car there, the keys in the bag she'd brought along. She had let him dress himself, then come into the room and began speaking, "Since I had your key to your apartment I had some accomidations made. If you need anything, any help or feel any pain still, call me, please. Oh, and since you've been out for four weeks, I threw out most of the stuff in your fridge and put in replacements of the same food... except I added some things you SHOULD eat and left out some things you SHOULDN'T... Dana was right, Fox, you have a terrible diet."

Mulder couldn't help but smile at that, remembering all the grief she'd given him about what he ate... telling him it was going to get him an early grave. The thought thundered into him and the smile quickly faded from his lips.

Maggie seemed to have come to almost the same realization of what she'd said as he had, a tense silence falling for a while. Maggie sighed, then asked, "Are you sure you don't need any help getting home?"

Mulder shook his head, "It's okay, Mom... I've driven myself home from the hospital probably more times than you want to know."

Maggie nodded, smiling gently, "You're right... I don't want to know."

There was a knock at the door, "Mrs. Scully, Mister Mulder? You have a visitor," and the nurse rolled in a baby crate.

Both turned to look down at the baby. Grace had grown and strengthened considerably in the last week. She was moved from neonatal special care to the regular nursery six days ago, where she was either visited there or brought to Mulder's room for visits, as she was now.

When Mulder had christened her with the name 'Grace' he was suddenly worried whether or not the rest of the Scully clan would like it... he hadn't even asked them what they thought. He hesitated telling Maggie or Bill the name. In the end, it had slipped. He was woken up from a nap to find Maggie and Bill there. They had come to have him sign some papers, as well as release forms from the hospital, and he'd mistaken their serious faces to mean something had happened. Mulder had sat up and asked, 'What's wrong? Is Grace okay?' They had looked at him, Maggie finally asking, 'Grace?' Mulder had ducked his head, answering meekly, 'Scully's baby... I named her Grace... is that okay?' Maggie had smiled, touching Mulder's arm and saying, 'Its beautiful, Fox. It's perfect.' Bill had agreed it was a fitting name.

Grace was kicking and thrashing her arms in the basket as she was wheeled in, tired of machines and ready for some real human contact.

Maggie chuckled, looking down into the basket as the nurse turned to leave. "She's almost as fussy as Dana was."

Mulder looked down at baby Grace. Her eyes had lightened since he first saw her a week ago... they were turning Scully's color.

Mulder looked up at Maggie, "Scully was a fussy baby?"

Maggie rolled her eyes, "Was she ever... she was the worst of the bunch... twice as bad as either of her brothers... she always wanted something and knew she wanted it right then."

Mulder shook his head, trying hard to believe his partner had been a picky baby.

Maggie turned to look at Mulder, "Fox... are you sure about this? I wouldn't care if you changed your mind."

Mulder nodded, "It's okay, Mom... I think it's the right thing to do."

Maggie nodded, smiling kindly at him, "I'm behind you 100%, Fox... you know that."

Mulder nodded, "Like daughter, like mother."

Mulder gathered up his bag, throwing it over his shoulder. Maggie moved next to the basket, reaching down and running a soft hand over the little tuft of hair that lay over the baby's head. She was born with almost dark brown, faint wisps of hair. They had fallen out and were giving way to little locks of red.

Mulder stepped up to the basket, looking down inside. He could never explain becoming attached to a baby as he had Scully's... maybe it was the fact the little girl started to look more and more like Scully every day that he was able to grow so quickly attached to her.

Mulder reached into the basket, lifting the baby out and bringing her to his shoulder. He cradled her against his shoulder, one hand completely covering her pajama-clad back. "Come on, Grace," he whispered in her little ear, "let's go home."

Maggie stood back, watching Mulder move out the door, Grace tucked against his body with loving care.



****



Karen Kosseff looked down at the file in her hand. It was someone she'd not expected to ever see again in the bureau. It was Fox Mulder... on her schedule of people to meet with today.

Karen looked back over the record file on him, though she'd read it so many times in surprise that she'd nearly committed it to memory.

Two years ago Agent Mulder, aiding the BSU in a drug ring sting, had agreed to assist in the bust. In the process, he was shot (having the bad luck to have been the only agent not wearing a bullet-proof vest, which none of his superiors knew about... it was like was asking for it), where he was taken to Georgetown Memorial Hospital. There, as fate would have it, he was treated by Doctor Dana Scully... his former partner. Mulder had emergency surgery to repair damage to his abdomen. While he was in and out of consciousness immediately after the shooting Dana Scully's uterus hemorrhaged, forcing an induced labor that managed only to save the baby. Dana Scully died in the hospital mere weeks after Agent Mulder had been expected to.

The two agents, by reports, had not spoken with each other since Dana Scully had left the bureau. Tensions between the two had obviously still been high. Scully had gotten involved with a man suspected before of being a shady character, who was also the father of the baby girl Scully delivered before she died, and not at all typical of Dana Scully's behavior. In Dana Scully's last will and testament, revised before her death and after she'd left the FBI, she had named Fox Mulder care-giver and legal guardian of her child.

It was all very odd and peculiar. Scully had not spoken with Agent Mulder or seemed to have been on friendly terms with him since she left, but she still named him care-giver to her child over any of her family. Even stranger was that Fox Mulder took up the responsibility... the partner he'd been estranged from without contact for a year and he took in her baby. Two years ago, Mulder took the baby girl home. A year later the legal adoption came through. For a year Mulder did not return to work, using most of the time to claim recovery, mental and physical, from his gunshot. Physical healing might have been for the gunshot wound, but everyone knew the mental recovery was in the wake of Scully's death. No one questioned or denied him that... he'd lost his partner. He was unfit for duty.

Paperwork for reinstatement started going through about seven months ago, and lastly, Karen was asked to evaluate his readiness for duty and also his ability to parent a child alone while dealing with the responsibilities of a federal agent.

Karen looked at her watch. Mulder should be coming in soon.

Almost as if on cue, the door resounded with a knock. Karen called out, "It's open... come on in."

The door opened, Fox Mulder's head peeking in to check that the office was indeed empty of other agents. When he was satisified it was he opened the door, revealing a surprise Karen had not expected. Mulder had a little girl in his right arm, held to his side as she peered around the room.

Mulder stepped inside, shutting the door behind him and turning to the girl in his arm, putting his other around her and lowering her to the floor.

The little girl stood on her own, standing before Mulder's legs and looking around the room curiously. She was dressed in a white baby T shirt, baby denim pants, and little white tennis shoes. She had red hair, much the same hue of the late Agent Scully's, that went in faint waves down to barely touch her shoulders, where it curled at the ends. Her eyes were a bright, vibrant blue. Her little face was like looking at a small Dana Scully... one would be hard pressed to find what of her was her father, the elusive Chris.

Mulder called Karen's attention by asking, "Is she okay?"

Karen looked up at Mulder. He was pointing down at the girl in front of him. Karen nodded, "Yes, she's fine... have a seat, Agent Mulder."

Mulder stepped around the little girl, moving to the couch across from Karen. The little girl, seeing Mulder move away, startled and moved after him, her little feet clumping on the carpeted floor.

Mulder sat down, the little girl reaching him soon after and standing in front of the couch, looking at him with bright and worried eyes, unsettled by the strange surroundings and strange woman in the opposite chair.

Mulder sat forward, resting a hand on the girl's back so much like he used to do to her mother, "It's okay, Grace. Here," he reached into his inside pocket, withdrawing a small stuffed animal. A tiny white whale. He handed it to her, "Here... look, Moby's here."

The girl grabbed for her little toy whale, putting a fluke in her mouth and looking over warily at Karen.

Karen smiled, looking up at Mulder, "Grace is her name?"

Mulder nodded.

Karen asked carefully, "Did Dana name her that?"

Mulder frowned sadly, "Kind of... I was the one who actually named her... but Grace was Scully's idea."

Grace, seeing the adults beginning to engage in conversation, began to wander around the room. Karen watched the miniature Dana Scully toddle around. She noticed Mulder constantly checking on her, looking over his shoulder to make sure she wasn't getting into anything.

Karen asked, "Is Moby supposed to be Moby Dick?"

Mulder chuckled, "Yeah... it is. I know Scully loved that book when she was a little girl, and I found that whale at a toy store; thought she'd like her daughter to be into Moby Dick, too... I couldn't quite bring myself to teaching her 'dick' though, so we just call it Moby."

Karen laughed.

Mulder glanced back at Grace, where she was studying an office plant a little too carefully for his liking, "Grace... honey... leave that alone."

Grace pouted, stepping away from the plant and clutching the toy whale to her chest as she moved around the office curiously.

Karen asked, "How are you handling taking care of her alone?"

Mulder mused, "I think I'm doing all right. Mom... um, Scully's mom, helps out a lot. She's going to be looking after Grace during the day once I'm back at work."

Karen nodded, "So... um... Margaret Scully... she's going to be a stable and reliable care-giving source?"

Mulder nodded, "Yeah... you can't get much more stable than a Scully woman."

Karen saw a fleeting sadness flicker across Mulder's eyes. She sighed sympathetically, "How are you doing?"

Mulder shrugged, "Fine... I think I'm doing better than I would have if I didn't have Grace."

Karen smiled, "So, you like having her?"

Mulder smirked, "I love her... course, how could I not?"

Karen smiled, nodding. The little girl was a spitting image of Dana Scully. No doubting Agent Mulder could find a way, even in grief, to love that.

"How would you say you're doing raising her?"

Mulder smiled, "Well... ask me again when she hits fourteen, but I think I'm doing okay... I don't know... I've never done this before, I never even really considered children before Grace was kind of dropped in my lap."

Karen asked carefully, "How do you feel about being an only parent to a child that isn't yours?"

Mulder mused on this a moment, checking again on Grace as she stood still, getting suspiciously quiet though she had only stopped to chew on her whale. Mulder answered, "She's Scully's daughter, and Scully wanted me to take care of her. The way I see it, I didn't have a choice. Besides... Scully was the closest thing I ever had to someone who could be a wife to me. Even if Scully hadn't... even if she was here taking care of Grace herself, that little girl would still be the closest thing I'd ever have to my own daughter... I really don't think things are much different now than they would have been."

Karen looked over at Grace. She was tapping on the window, trying to get a reaction out of the fat pigeon that seemed to live on Karen's ledge. Karen smiled, "She looks happy and healthy."

Mulder nodded, "Shots all up to date, nothing worse than a cold since she was a baby... she's perfectly healthy."

"Do you think she's happy?"

"I think she's happier than any of the rest of us could be... she's the only one who doesn't remember her. It seems kind cruel... I don't know how I'm going to tell her about her mother when she asks. I know she will soon, she starting to grasp the concept of what a 'family' is. I don't know what to tell her about her father."

Karen watched the little girl try to entice the bird into action with the Moby doll, to no avail. "You know, Agent Mulder... adopted children adopt the parents just as much as the parents adopt the child. As far as she's concerned, she's yours now."

Mulder seemed to consider this quietly, then said, "Not really... not genetically... some day she's going to deserve to know. I don't know what to tell her, and I wouldn't know who to ask... no one knew this guy Chris... except Scully." Mulder dropped his eyes, letting his thoughts stop there.

Karen watched him a moment. Their silence was broken when Grace let out a little screech. The pigeon had finally startled at Grace's pestering, unexpectedly flapping its wings and frightening the daylights out of the little girl.

Grace ran quickly back to the couch, charging up to Mulder and whining in a trembling voice, "Daddy... Daddy... the birdy..."

Mulder smiled gently, reaching down and lifting Grace up on to the couch beside him. Grace moved quickly against him, snuggling into his side and tucking her head against his body. Karen smiled warmly at this. Grace probably felt invincible when she was doing that, tucked against 'Daddy's' body like that. She may as well be, honestly. No one was more defensive and protective than Agent Fox Mulder.

Mulder draped an arm around Grace's little body, his other coming to her small red head, running his fingers through her hair in a very familiar gesture that was older than Grace was. Grace looked up at Mulder, "Birdy was mean, Daddy."

Mulder chuckled, "Don't worry, Gracie, that bird won't get you. I'll protect you."

Grace smiled, "Wif 'ur gun!"

Mulder nodded, "That's right... with my gun."

Grace giggled, then looked over at Karen. She stared at her for a while, then said timidly (finding more courage in the face of the stranger when being wrapped up in Mulder's arms), "'M not allowed touch Daddy's gun."

Karen smiled, "Guns aren't for little girls, they're dangerous."

Grace partially down in Mulder's lap, her legs tucked behind her on the couch cushion, "'At's what Daddy says... guns bad, but y'need guns to stop bad people."

Karen nodded, "Your Daddy's right."

Grace, her upper body sprawled over Mulder's lap, turned over, looking up at Mulder. She giggled at him, then held out the slobbery white whale to him, "Make Moby swim, Daddy."

Mulder took the toy whale, bobbing it up and down in front of Grace, imitating the motion of swimming. Suddenly, he dropped the toy to Grace's stomach, poking her with the plush toy. Grace giggled. Mulder abandoned the doll, tickling the little girl with his fingers. Grace burst into uncontrollable laughter, fighting in vain to free herself from Mulder.

Mulder, laughing as well, finally stopped, shifting Grace up and setting her down next to him in a sitting position.

Grace reclaimed Moby, who laid nearby, then stood on the cushions.

Grace toddled unsurely toward Mulder on the cushions, finally reaching him and leaning her arms and head on his right shoulder.

Karen smiled, "Well, Agent Mulder, I think we're done. I hope to see you again soon... you too, Grace."

Grace smiled gently.

Mulder stood, slipping out from under Grace's arms. He turned, "Ready to go, Sport?"

Grace held up her arms to him, asking and waiting to be picked up. Mulder effortlessly lifted Grace into his arms, turning to leave. Grace, over what she knew to be her father's shoulder, waved goodbye to Karen with one hand and her other thrown around Mulder's neck and clutching Moby in her little hand.



END