Title: Freudian Slip
Author: MissAnnThropic
E-Mail: miss_annthropic@yahoo.com
Spoilers: Arcadia
Summary: The most inappropriate things just 'slip out' of people's mouths.
Disclaimer: I own nasing! Really, I don't. All you see here (that you recognize, anyway) is the creation of someone else. I take no credit.



Agent Dana Scully sucked in a breath, her brow furrowed, and she opened her mouth to launch into a tirade, but in the interest of the two agents sitting across from her and her partner, she bit her lip and instead gave Mulder standing beside her a dirty look.

One he did not miss, but he was in no more of a humoring mood than his partner was. They had been asked to assist Agents Thompson and Rackits on a case... and it had just gone down-hill from there. Well, to be more accurate, one could possibly say that the rampaging topa last night began their downhill charade, but this day was just icing on the cake.

Scully supposed it was really more to do with them than the case, because it was really a silly point they were arguing on, and she knew that... but she was in a foul mood and not willing to give ground. The same seemed to apply with Mulder. They had both just come off a bad case (anything involving trash-monsters qualified as a bad case) with a patience-taxing local sheriff when they tried to clean things up in San Diego (not the mention the managers of the planned community had a thing or two to say about Mulder's little reflecting pool), missed their first flight, got home late and jet-lagged, and then got called in to do this consult with little sleep. They were moody and they both knew it. Once they both had a chance to eat and sleep a good five or six hours at least, things would be as normal as they ever were with them, and they were both aware of this and tolerated the other's mood and temper without holding ill-will or grudges.

Agents Thompson and Rackits, however, were not aware that the two agents had no intentions of coming to blows. All they knew was that the two strange agents had verbally been at each other's throats from the moment they'd looked over the file to consult... both were wary about saying anything to either of the agents... concerned a wrong word might set them off. Both LOOKED at the end of their metaphorical ropes.

Mulder shifted on his feet, looking up at the ceiling with a sigh in an undisguised attempt to hide his frustration, then said evenly in a tight voice, "There are a number of X Files that show these same MO's."

Scully glowered, expression already incredulous as she shook her head, "And every one of those files involves evidence just as circumstantial as that which you CLAIM to see here."

Agents Rackits and Thompson blinked, watching the two go at it. They were both on their feet, too worked up and involved in the bickering to sit, but the strange thing was that, even when they weren't clustered to look over the file, they still stood mere inches from each other. While they sounded like they were ready to skin the other's scalp off, they looked in body stance like they were sharing a perfectly congenial private conversation. It was confusing, and the two visiting agents spent most of their time trying to decide if Agents Mulder and Scully were fighting or not. Their tones and words said they were, but their familiarity and proximity said they weren't... with these two bizarre agents, they weren't sure which message to listen to.

And without knowing which was true, they weren't looking to provoke either agent. They both were, after all, armed.

The kicker of it was, didn't these two just come off a case where they'd been undercover as husband and wife? If they got along like this all the time then there was no way the bureau could have expected that ruse to work. Unless they'd gotten into a fight to end all fights in... California was it? Married only a few days and seems they were ready to file for divorce papers. Course, this spat came so quickly they could just get an annulment.

Mulder shook his head in response, angling his body more toward his partner and resting one hand on his hip, "The scientific basis of the evidence is sound, if you'd taken a chance to look at it..."

Scully put her own hands on her waist, mimicking Mulder's body language, "I DID look at it..."

Mulder smirked sardonically, "'Glanced' is more like it."

Scully frowned, blue eyes icy daggers as she looked up accusingly at Mulder, "Maybe if you hadn't THROWN it in my face after I'd had only an hour and a half of sleep..."

Mulder's lips pursed, "I offered to fill you in, abridged version, but you..."

"YOU would have painted the facts however you chose to if I let you do that," Scully looked at him expectantly, crossing her arms over her chest shrewdly.

Her male partner actually looked a little put off and hurt by that accusation. He considered her earnestly a second, then said in a lower voice that was not near as vehement, "I wouldn't have lied to you, if that's what you're implying."

Scully stopped, realizing how he'd taken it. She actually looked apologetic, however her next words were not anywhere near, "I didn't say that... you're putting words in my mouth."

Agent Rackits glanced at his partner, wondering if he was thinking the same thing he was. This was getting personal... obviously these agents needed some sleep, or to talk, or a mild sedative... something. They weren't getting anywhere on the case tonight, at any rate.

Secretly, under the table, Rackits and Thompson balled their fist and hammered out 'paper-rock-scissors'. Thompson had scissors, Rackits paper.

Rackits hissed to himself, then resigned himself to his fate and spoke up, "Umm... agents."

They didn't hear him, bending over the file together, debating a point. Mulder was gesturing emphatically at something on the page, Scully stood over his shoulder so close, the front of her blouse touched his bent shoulder.

"Agents..." Rackits said again.

Scully was the one to look up, unable to stop herself before spitting, "What?"

Rackits flinched, then continued, "Look... it's obvious you and Agent Mulder need some sleep before you can really look at this. Why don't we call it a day?"

Mulder's face grew raged and tired as he no longer fought the exhaustion he'd been staving off, and he nodded faintly in resignation. He was not about to contend the suggestion.

Scully frowned, not so ready to let go her dogged tenacity, "We can finish this, it won't take long once we compromise on this one issue..."

Mulder blinked heavily, eyes growing tired as he shook his head as Scully continued her speech, then stood rather abruptly and blurted out in an exhausted daze, "Honey, look... we can come back in the morning. Give us a chance to think on it and maybe by then we'll see a little more eye to eye."

Scully sighed heavily, obviously relenting... and she either hadn't noticed what Mulder had casually called her or felt it warranted no attention. The same was NOT true for Rackits and Thompson... the moment the word left Agent Mulder's mouth they both gaped, checking covertly with one another to make sure they'd heard right.

Scully looked up at Mulder, meeting his gaze and studying him closely a moment. She was either looking for something or reading his lattice-work emotional state at a glance. Slowly, she nodded, closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead, "Yeah... you're right... we're just butting heads, anyway."

Mulder nodded, considering Scully in concern now that he wasn't so occupied by their stand-off that he failed to notice how tired she looked. Probably as tired as he felt. Mulder reached down to the chair he'd at one point sat in and retrieved the jacket hung over the back, "Let's go... I'll drop you off."

Scully nodded calmly, even managing the faintest of gentle smiles for Mulder. Mulder reciprocated with his own kind smirk, eyes soft and friendly.

And Thompson and Rackits couldn't believe what they were seeing before their eyes. It was like the agents from two seconds ago didn't even exist. In a matter of seconds they'd melted into completely different people... from two people ready to claw at one another to people who were obviously very good friends.

Mulder looked to Thompson and Rackits, nodding farewell as he apologized, "Sorry to waste your time, gentlemen... we'll come in tomorrow as soon as possible."

Thompson pipped in, "Don't be in a hurry... this stuff isn't going anywhere... you two just get some rest. We're sorry to imposed on you right after coming off another case, anyway."

Scully gave them a very grateful and companionable nod... not at all like the fiery she-cat she'd been only moments before. Not to mention her partner no longer bristled like a saber-tooth tiger in her presence. Quite the opposite actually... where moments ago the presence of the other seemed to agitate them, now it seemed to preen and smooth their on-end hackles.

Mulder turned to Scully after shouldering on his jacket, she scanned the area to see if Mulder was forgetting anything, then they turned in unison to head toward the door. Mulder's hand came to the small of her back, touching her lightly and guiding her, their steps synchronized over years to perfectly allow for Mulder's long strides and Scully's short legs while keeping them moving at the same speed. Again, as they'd stood, they walked close to one another... and now there seemed something very comfortable and welcome about that.

When they'd disappeared down the hall, Thompson turned to his partner, "Well... what do you make of that?"

Rackits shook his head, utterly bewildered, "I have no idea. He called her 'honey'... right? I wasn't imagining that?"

Thompson shook his head, "Nope... that's what I heard... couldn't believe it though."

Rackits smirked, "They're either sleeping together or he wanted to see how close he could get to getting his balls ripped off with that."

Thompson laughed, remembering himself how ballsy he'd thought the move when Mulder made it. He remembered the thought running through his mind in a male-empathic flinch, 'oo... he's really looking for trouble with that one.' The one thing he'd learned from his second girlfriend was to never antagonize a pissed off woman. If he'd been a few seconds late in his reflexes he'd probably still bear a scar from the time he'd tried.

Thompson stopped, thinking, "Well... he made it through unscathed... guess we know what that means."

Rackits nodded, thoughtful, "Yeah... guess we do. You know, all this time I thought those rumors were always just that... rumors."

Thompson nodded, "Yeah... I did too. Well, what say we get out of here before someone finds some work for us to do?"

Rackits bounded from his seat, "I hear ya... the missus is already probably wondering where I've gone off to."

"You're whipped," Thompson teased.

Rackits leered at his partner, kind and teasing as they continued an old game, "I may be whipped... but I'm whipped and laid."

Thompson frowned at his partner, "I gotta find a better trump card..."



****



Mulder unlocked Scully's car door, then moved around to his side while Scully dipped in. Mulder got in, sliding behind the wheel and starting the car, looking over at Scully a moment. His manner was caring and gentle, the confrontational bastard (or what Mulder liked to call that little alter ego) had disappeared for the night.

She looked back, no words spoken but the same apology spoken in her eyes as were in his for the spat in the office. She too no longer even resembled the provoking antagonist she'd become in the room a few moments ago, and her regard toward Mulder was once again the caring of a best friend. Truce was called, and neither felt malice for the experience.

Mulder sighed, checking behind him as he backed up the car up from the parking space, "This has been the longest day of my life. I still haven't unpacked from San Diego... you?"

Scully was strangely quiet, face twisted in thought as she shook her head at his question, obviously distracted. Scully squinted, that look that Mulder knew to mean she was trying to remember something, had, and then doubted what she'd recalled.

Mulder cocked his head at her, "What's up?"

Scully frowned, thinking, then began, "Mulder... back there in the office..."

Mulder waited a moment, wondering what she was referring to specifically, and prodded, "Yeah?"

Scully's frown deepened, then she looked up at him, looking shocked and confused all at the same time. Her mouth opened a crack, as though hesitant to speak, then she blurted it out, "Did you call me honey?"



END