Title: Je Souhaite Pour Toi
Author: MissAnnThropic
E-Mail: miss_annthropic@yahoo.com
Spoilers: Je Souhaite
Summary: A caveat to Mulder's final wish, he asks to see the life Scully might have led if she'd never met him.
Disclaimer: I own nasing! Really, I don't. All you see here (that you recognize, anyway) is the creation of someone else. I take no credit.



Scully left Mulder's office, knowing that this was a decision he had to make on his own. Not because these three wishes business or the jinnee were actually real, but because in the process of thinking they were he had stumbled upon a truth... a simple fact of life that he needed to come to terms with on his own. That, even though it may be depressing and sorrowful, pain and suffering was needed in the world. Without the pain the joy would look dull and commonplace... miracles void of awe, love trite and friends without anything to weather through together. That was just the way things were.

She knew better than anyone. In her investigations with Mulder, she had lost so much... but rather than destroy her it had made her come to cherish what she still had. One of which was that man back there she'd just left in the basement office. She had thought he knew this truth... that the bad is necessary to make the good better, but again he surprised her. In almost infantile naivete, he thought the world could be a good, happy place. She wasn't sure whether to think it was cute or irritating... but always, always, she cherished Fox Mulder.



****



Mulder watched Scully go, absorbing what she had just said to him. The world NEEDED evil? They spent their entire careers (hell, by now their entire LIVES) fighting evil, so what was the point if it was necessary in the world?

But then it dawned on him... what she had meant. That without the evil, the good wouldn't burn so bright. A candle doesn't look vibrant in a white room... but it absolutely shines in a dark one. Without the loss of his sister, he would not treasure his partner as much as he did. He would not know to cherish every moment, for he knew that each one was precious with the ones you love.

For a moment, he thought of wishing for that... wishing his sister had never been taken back in November of 1973, but he dismissed it a little quickly (so quickly it plagued him with guilt for a long moment) because he was scared. Scared of what it would mean. His entire life had been focused on searching for her, on finding his sister. Where would he be if it hadn't happened? What about his family? Would his father still be dead? Would they have been a happy family instead of the dysfunctional one they'd become? Would it greatly shake and alter the fate of the earth and the timing of plans for colonization? There were just too many things that could change for the worse. Knowing the jin's habit of twisting comments into bad ones anyway, he didn't want to tempt her with just an easy request.

And though he sat there contemplating for only a moment after Scully left, a million thoughts ran through his mind, and this time it was about her.

It suddenly felt like a lead weight on his shoulders that she would be so wise about how one needs to suffer. His guilt sagged heavily on him... she'd seen her fair share of tragedy and disaster in her life, she knew almost better than anyone (with the exception of Mulder himself, but he'd built good coping skills from living with tragedy so long) what it meant to HAVE to treasure the good because of all the bad you'd been through. It was mostly his fault, too. Sure, her father dying was not on his hands, but her abduction, being barren, getting cancer, getting her sister Melissa killed, the biologically unethical creation of Emily... all that blood was on his hands. Since he'd teamed with Scully, his hands hadn't been clean in a very long time. And yet, she never blamed him. He worshipped her for that. She had every right to blame him... every single right in the world to justifiably pin it on him and leave before she could be hurt anymore. But she never blamed him, and she stayed with him... and above all other miracles... she was his best friend.

What if she had never come to him? How happy might she have been, what kind of blissful life might she have led were it not for his meddling in her life?

The jinnee stepped up behind Mulder as he sat musing at his desk. "Have you made your decision?"

Mulder reached up, turning off the monitor where he'd just recently been pecking away on his third wish. He turned to her, nodding faintly.

The jinnee crossed her arms, standing up straighter, ready to get this over with. Sure, this master wasn't so bad... in fact, to top off THIS one being cute, he was funny. Wishing for world peace, hah, did he actually think he could do that? Well, he HAD thought he could do that... and then he'd been running around the deserted streets... very comical. She'd not had a master this funny in maybe three hundred years. She kind of felt bad twisting his wishes into curses, but not bad enough to keep this one honest. Well... probably not, anyway.

Mulder looked over his shoulder at the doorway where Scully had just disappeared a few minutes ago.

The jinnee watched, interested. Something was definitely going on with these two... she knew human interaction well, and their dynamism was intriguing... she half wished she could stick around a little longer to try to decode the strange partnership. Half wished... she wasn't going to unleash that curse on herself... no way!

Mulder looked back up at the jinnee. Jin startled at his expression. It was guilt-ridden, sorrowful and tortured. She hadn't even done anything yet! Then it occurred to the Jin, as she looked down at his haunted and painful hazel eyes, that this was not her doing. This torture was inflicted upon himself. Jin hid a frown... she didn't want him to know (or to admit to herself) that at that moment with that look on his face, she started to feel sorry for him.

Mulder blinked, took a breath and a moment to collect his thoughts, then said in a low, soft voice, "I know what I want for my third wish."

Jin nodded slowly... waiting.

Mulder looked her straight in the eye, as if to say 'get this right' as he began, "First, this last wish I make I want it to be YOUR last wish."

Jin blinked, confused, then shook her head, "What are you talking about?"

Mulder sat back a little, stating bluntly, "I want my final wish to be the last you grant... after you grant me my third wish you won't be a jinnee anymore."

Jin blinked... stunned. Could it be true? Was he going to do that for her? No more bending to the will of anyone else, no more centuries wrapped up in a musty rug, no more living for others? Why... why would he do that? It was all she had ever wanted... no one had ever wished something for her benefit before.

Mulder continued, "And my third wish is..."

Jin turned her attention to him... suddenly at sympathetic attention. She instantly started to question why she did it... why she turned every wish against the wisher. Maybe it didn't have to be that way. For the first time, she felt grateful for a human, and in particular this human. The least she could do... the very least payment for her freedom, was to actually let this last wish of his be right. She let none of this on in her expression... she just watched him blankly as he tried to carefully word and formulate his last wish.

Mulder glanced back over his shoulder at the doorway again, then said faintly to the jinnee, "I don't want this to change anything... this is not a wish to alter the past and therein the present or future... I wish... I wish to see, just the hypothetical chance or possible alternative, where Scully would have ended up if she never got stuck here... with me."

For a long time the jinnee said nothing... dumbfounded. She had resolved to give him, this last master of hers who was kind enough to grant her her freedom, his last wish without twisting it into malice. Now... he was asking for the torture himself.

Jin, as mentioned before, had learned to read people well. She knew what this FBI agent was feeling... thinking. She knew that somehow he felt he had changed his partner's life for the worse by being her partner. Both agents carried a lot of pain and guilt with them... they had singularly survived torture before Jin ever even showed up... only now did she care enough to acknowledge it. If it were true that this male agent before her was responsible for the heavy burden the little red-head carried... why would he want to know what he kept her from? To have to live with that after she was gone... why would he do that to himself?

Jin stepped closer, carefully dropping down to one knee before him.

He looked up at her, his painful eyes screaming already... as if he already knew what he might find.

Jin asked faintly (not used to expressing sympathy or compassion toward a human being), "Are you sure?"

Mulder nodded, closing his eyes a moment then whispering, "I have to know..."

Jin nodded, sighed heavily, concentrated her powers, then said, "Open your eyes."



****



Mulder opened his eyes slowly. He blinked a moment in confusion... he wasn't in the basement office anymore, and he took a moment to get his bearings of just where he was.

It was a room, large, mostly empty, sterile white walls, metal cabinets on the walls, a gurney in the middle, a body on it with the frame of a petite woman with her back facing him...

He was in a morgue or Medical Examiner's room.

And then he recognized the frame standing over the body in the center of the dreary room. Scully.

Mulder stepped closer to her... his feet not making a sound on the hollow floor. It was as if he were a ghost... not really there.

He stepped up beside Scully, looking over at her face.

He was startled at first. She was different than the Scully he knew. She was a little heavier than she was in his life... about ten more pounds on her (which for her small frame, didn't seem to say this reality's Scully cared so much for fitness and health as his world's Scully did). Her hair was longer, tied in a ponytail he'd not seen since that first year they'd worked together. She didn't have that concerned frown on her brow... the perpetual scowl unless he was able to cheer her up. But as she worked over the body, she didn't look happy, either.

He studied her... alternative reality Scully or not... he could still read her. She looked tired... so very tired. He wanted to touch her... reach out and comfort her like he always did when she looked so exhausted, but the moment his hand brushed hers it disappeared... his form shivered and faded... and Scully made no indication that she'd felt his presence trying to comfort her.

Mulder swallowed, seeing that he obviously could not alter this reality, and settled back to watching.

Scully worked monotonously. Mulder watched, as always mesmerized by her working, not matter what Scully looked like when she did it. Her eyes were almost glazed. He read it as tired... but something in his gut told him it was something else. Like... like maybe she didn't care.

Scully sighed faintly... barely a sigh, hell, barely able to be called breathing.

She looked so tired.

Mulder looked around the room for a clock, looking for the time. Shouldn't it be time for her to go home? She needed sleep, he knew it.

Scully looked down at her instrument tray, pausing a moment as if lost in thought, then reached down for one of the tools.

Mulder watched her every move, soaking in this Scully that had never met him... never been assigned to him and the X Files and caused her so much pain.

Scully picked up the scalpel.

Mulder frowned... concerned, as he watched her.

She didn't dive into the body with the sharp knife as the Scully HE knew did. Instead, she stood in the silent room, eyes just locked in a dull haze on the blade in her hand. She studied it a long time, eyes clouded in what he thought was exhaustion... but maybe it was indifference.

They stood so for about a minute when the door suddenly opened.

Mulder jumped, but Scully simply set down the scalpel and looked up.

The man standing at the door was Pendrell. Huh... in this reality he was still alive.

"Dana... it's late... go home."

Scully nodded, "Yeah... thanks. I... lost track of the time."

Pendrell stood at the door a moment, looking at her then the body (though, Mulder noted with some degree of surprised interest, without the enamored lustful eyes he used to look at Scully with. Weird, that in this reality Pendrell didn't have a crush on Mulder's partner). Pendrell slowly asked her as she torpidly began to set about cleaning up her area, "Did you hear about it, Dr. Scully?"

Scully stopped, looking over at him, "About what?"

Pendrell stepped into the room, being cordial and friendly, and said slowly, "Agent Mulder."

Mulder jerked, stunned and uneasy, but at erect attention. He'd not expected anything about him... he didn't think he'd learn anything about what became of HIM without Scully... only the vice versa.

Scully shook her head, "No... I didn't. What about him?"

Pendrell sighed slowly, "He died."

Mulder, standing secretly on the other side of the table from Scully, grew pale. He died... without Scully in his life he DIED?

Scully continued her clean-up, not visibly shaken up by the news (which, even though this was an alternate reality, still hurt Mulder), "No... I hadn't heard that... what happened?"

Pendrell stopped a moment, eyes locked on the gruesome corpse in front of him and Scully before he pulled his attention back to her question, "Umm... gunshot wound to the head... suicide."

At the word 'suicide', Scully's actions paused. She was still a moment, then continued going about her work, "That's sad..." was all she said.

Mulder's head was reeling. He'd killed himself in this life? Of course, why should he not have suspected that? In his own reality, he'd begun to feel it... the hopelessness of it all... the loneliness... the dejection... losing the will to do it all. Until that fateful day when Dana Katherine Scully walked into his life, he was starting to struggle to find things to live for. How could he not know just to what extent Scully had saved him?

Pendrell stepped back a pace from the body as Scully draped the sheet over it and he asked the doctor solemnly, "Did you know Agent Mulder?"

Scully shook her head, "I knew OF him... did you know him?"

Pendrell shook his head, "Of him... not personally. I don't think... I don't think anyone knew him personally. Maybe that's why he killed himself... I don't know... you know..."

Scully nodded, shrugging as she started to push the gurney toward the coolers, "Well... no telling why he did it. Even if he did have people in his life he may still have done it."

Pendrell nodded, "Yeah... guess you never really know why people do it... Well, see you Monday, Dr. Scully."

Scully shoved the body into a compartment, throwing halfheartedly over her shoulder, "Good night, Agent Pendrell."

Once the room was empty, Scully (unaware of Mulder's ghostly presence), stood in the middle of the room. She sighed heavily, her arms dropping to her sides and hanging there lifelessly.

Mulder stepped closer, "Scully," he muttered, but she did not hear his hidden words.

Seeing that she couldn't hear him either, he bit his lip anxiously. 'Please, Scully,' he thought, 'just go home... get some sleep... you'll feel better... and I won't have to be in your way ever again... not if I'm dead.'

Scully closed her eyes in exhaustion, then went to the counter with her personal things and gathered her keys. She didn't have any key chains. Of course, why would she? Even in HIS reality the only key chain Scully had was the one he'd given her.



****



Somehow, he followed Scully through the building. It was the FBI building, all right. So she didn't go back to medicine when on her own.

He followed her out to the car, concerned by the fact that the few people who bid her farewell she brushed off or ignored. Scully, even when dog tired, always used to make an effort to at least be polite.

She climbed into a four door sedan down in the parking lot, Mulder found himself beside her in the passenger's seat, though he wasn't quite sure how he popped in there.



They drove out of town. Scully didn't turn on the radio... she just rode in silence.



****



They stopped in front of a quaint little two-story house in the suburbs. Mulder felt his heart twist a little, 'a little house in the suburbs... way to go, Scully.'

Scully turned off the car, sat in the car a few minutes in the dead silence, then exited the car and walked up the small pathway to the front door.

Scully slipped the key in the lock, turned it, then opened the door.

Mulder followed, heart beating faster and faster... NOW he was really getting to see what Scully may have become without him.

The moment she stepped inside (Mulder-ghost form in tow) they were met with the sound of a TV on in the next room.

She closed the door, the sound of the shutting door alerting the household.

"MOMMY!" Two screams came from the room that had previously only been emitting the sound of the television.

Mulder flinched. Mommy? Jesus... without him in her way she actually had children, a family?

From the other room two children came running out to greet the woman at the door. Mulder thought it would be the death of him. Both little girls... one about four and the other maybe six. The youngest had red hair like Scully (in fact, she looked a lot like Scully as a kid, Mulder remembered seeing pictures of little Dana), the other looked a lot like Melissa... brown wavy hair with a hint of red-gold.

Scully knelt down, greeting the two girls in a tired voice. "Hey, babies... how was your day?"

Both girls threw their arms around Scully's neck, the oldest, the brunette was the first to step away and say, "I got an A on my science report today."

Mulder smirked, though painfully, while watching the scene before him. The daughter of Dana Scully into science... imagine that.

Scully nodded, "That's good, Tiffany. What about you, Sarah, anything fun today?"

The little red-head smiled, "I kicked some boy in the butt."

Mulder smiled, thinking he might break into tears at seeing what he'd made Scully sacrifice. Yep... the little girl was a hell-raiser just like Melissa Scully. Those Scully women just had the rile-up in their blood, he supposed.

Scully, to his mild surprise, answered in a deadpan voice exactly as she had responded to Tiffany, "That's good, Sarah."

"Hey, Dana," a male voice came from the back end of the house. Mulder froze... oh man, a husband... she was married! She must have kept her last name... Pendrell called her Dr. Scully... or maybe at work she chose to be called that. There were so many unexpected things happening he didn't have much time to process it all.

A tall, medium build man came out from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a hand towel. He was not bad... kinda handsome, dark hair, hazel/green eyes.

Scully stood, greeting the man, "Hi, Richard..."

The man stopped in front of her, "Sorry I didn't wait for you today at work, I was just..."

Scully waved it off, "It's fine... I had to stay late, anyway."

So, Mulder mused... Scully married another FBI agent. Interesting... and all so blessedly NORMAL.

Sarah tugged on Scully's skirt, "Mommy... Ishmael chewed up my doll."

Richard answered quickly, "I already put him outside, he should be fine... it's not that cold and I left him food and water."

Mulder, dumbfounded by all he was hearing, followed mutely and in a daze as the family of four moved into the kitchen.

Richard went to the stove, were he was obviously fixing dinner, "Oh, Dana... your sister called."

Scully groaned, "Oh... I'll call her later... I don't feel like talking to her right now."

The two girls charged to the table, finding their seats. Mulder found himself staring at them a lot. It was kind of frightening... looking at these kids he didn't know and SEEING Scully in them. They were definitely her children.

He knelt closer to the little red-head. 'My god,' he mused as he studied her little face, 'she could BE a little Scully!'

The little girl kicked and swung her legs, which didn't touch the floor, then unexpectedly turned her blue eyes directly to Mulder, "Hi... I'm Sarah, what's your name?"

Mulder blinked... stunned. Was she talking to HIM?!

Mulder, thinking he was being an idiot suspecting the little girl could see him or hear him, answered faintly, "Um... I'm Fox Mulder."

The little girl smiled... damn, it was SCULLY'S smile, then said, "My dog chewed up my doll."

Mulder was speechless, unable to respond to the little girl's statement.

Richard called to her from the stove, "Sarah... are you talking to your invisible friend again?"

"Uh huh... he's right there," Sarah went to playing with her fork with one hand as she pointed her other directly at Mulder as he knelt beside her. Mulder stood, stepping back. TOO weird... he'd heard that kids can see things and sense things adults can't, but that was just TOO weird.

Tiffany asked her little sister, "I thought your invisible friend was a girl?"

Sarah giggled, "She is! I was talking to the invisible man."

Tiffany, playing along with her little sister as Dana got out plates and set them on the table, said, "Oh yeah... what's his name?"

Sarah swung her legs again, then said, "Is Fox Mulder."

Scully froze, one plate in her hand midway to the table. She looked over at her youngest daughter, "You said your invisible friend's name was... Fox Mulder?"

Sarah nodded, "Uh huh... he's standing right over there." Sarah pointed right at Mulder where he stood about three steps away.

Mulder swallowed.

Scully looked over her shoulder in the direction her small daughter was pointing. For a moment... for a SECOND, Mulder thought Scully was looking right at him. That she was going to sense him... somehow KNOW he was there... almost.

The moment was interrupted when Richard, carrying over a pan with chicken fajita filling in it, asked, "Dana... you okay?"

Scully shook her head, turning her attention back to the table with a long and pondering look at Sarah, then said, "Oh... nothing... nothing, I just... you don't know who Fox Mulder is?"

Richard placed some of the food on to Tiffany's plate, warning, "Now don't touch this yet, girls, it's hot... um... Fox Mulder, yeah, I've heard of him, Spooky. Why?"

Scully whispered, "He's dead."

Richard, too, took a moment to look in curiosity at their youngest daughter who was now talking to her girl invisible friend, then asked, "When did he die?"

Scully shrugged, pulling Richard toward the kitchen and away from the girls before answering, "I think today or yesterday... he killed himself, shot himself in the head."

Richard frowned, "Oh... that's too bad. Did you... you want to go to the funeral?"

Mulder gulped... oh man, they were talking about his FUNERAL.

Scully shook her head, eyes heavy and face passive, "No... I didn't know him personally... besides, I didn't even hear about them having one... I just... what Sarah said..."

Richard touched her shoulder, "Hey... it's probably just a name she heard one of us say at some point... don't worry about it."

Scully nodded faintly, Richard heading back to the table.

Scully stood back in the kitchen, face concentrated and eyes dropped. She looked up, turning to glance over her shoulder and looking RIGHT INTO Mulder's eyes.

Mulder jerked, afraid to move. For a minute... a good minute, she was seriously looking him right in the eye. Then Tiffany called over, "Mom... the food's getting cold!"

Scully dropped her eyes and walked right past him to the kitchen table.



****



The next thing Mulder knew, he was in the bedroom... their bedroom. Scully and Richard were in bed.

Richard was fast asleep, snoring faintly. Scully, on the other hand, was wide awake... lying on her side and staring out the window.

Mulder stepped closer, concerned. Why wasn't she sleeping? She'd looked utterly exhausted at the office. Of course, he could have written the book on insomnia.

Scully sighed sadly. Mulder frowned... Scully had everything in this life... but not once since he'd been watching her had she ever looked happy. She looked... hang-dog. Bummed out...

Mulder's eyes flew open as he put it together. She was depressed! She was seriously, even with all of this, depressed! He'd never seen her depressed before... not like this. HIS Scully had never been clinically depressed for no reason.

Scully interrupted his thoughts by silently sliding out of bed. She moved silently in her pajamas to the bedroom door (Mulder following) then downstairs to the living room.

Scully sat on the couch, stared into nothingness in complete silence for a moment, then reached over and picked up the cordless phone and dialed a number from memory.

Mulder moved closer, sitting down on the couch right beside her to listen.

Scully twitched ever so faintly, looking over at the couch cushion he was occupying (though he made no dip or indentation), then turned back to the phone when it was answered groggily, "Mmm... hello?"

Scully asked faintly, "Missy?"

Melissa grumbled again, then asked, "Dana... geez... *yawn* when I said I wanted to talk to you, I didn't say it was urgent."

Scully sighed, "Sorry... I'll call back."

"No... no, I'm awake now... what's wrong?"

Scully sighed, "An agent I work with killed himself today."

Missy became more alert, "Oh, Dana, I'm sorry. You okay? Were you close friends?"

"No..." Scully was quiet a moment, "I didn't even know him."

Missy grumbled again, still trying to fully awake, "Then why are you upset?"

Mulder leaned closer, good question, Dana Scully.

Scully rolled her left shoulder (the one the ghost Mulder was leaning into), then said, "I don't know, Missy... you ever feel like you... ummm..."

Missy prompted, "Just say it, Dana... you can tell me anything."

Scully sighed, "Have you ever felt like you knew someone, even when you didn't?"

Missy asked, "What, like soul-mates?"

"No... not soul-mates... well, maybe. I don't know what I mean. I just... well, today Sarah said something."

"What did she say?"

"We were getting ready for dinner, and she started talking to her invisible friend again."

Missy mused lovingly, "Angie?"

Scully shook her head, "Well, that's what Tiffany thought... but she asked Sarah and she said she was talking to the invisible man... she said his name was Fox Mulder. Missy, that's the agent who killed himself today."

Missy sucked in a long breath, "Whoa... that is weird. You ever think that maybe he's with you?"

"Huh?"

"You know, Dana... kids sense things and see things we don't," Mulder smirked faintly, "maybe his ghost is there with you."

"Missy... get real... there's no such things as ghosts. That's NOT what I meant either when I said I feel like I knew him... I meant... I don't know."

"Then why'd you say it?"

"I..... I know what I meant. I meant that... everyone talks about no one knowing him personally, that he was impossible to understand... but I... I always kind of felt like I did."

Mulder sat back, saying (since he knew Scully couldn't hear him), "You do, Scully... you always have."

Scully paused, glancing suspiciously over at the seat beside her, then said, "Look, Missy... I'm sorry I woke you about this. Agent Pendrell and I were just talking about why he might have done it..." Scully trailed off, leaving a good long minute of silence. Missy yawned and said, "Look... we'll talk tomorrow... I have to get to sleep, I have an early day tomorrow."

After Melissa had hung up, Scully dropped the phone into her lap and finished her sentence to the silent room, "but I think I understand why he did it."

Scully placed the phone down, then reached down to the bureau that held the phone cradle. She unlocked the safety lock on the front panel... she reached into it and withdrew her service weapon.

Mulder jumped back... what the hell was she doing?!

Scully set the gun in her lap, checking that it was loaded, then looked at it a long time.

Mulder wanted to plead with her... not to do it, not to even THINK about it... to think of all she had to lose. Her children, husband... this perfect life. Of course, he didn't... it would be to no avail... she couldn't hear him.

He dropped to his knees before her, lost and helpless. How could his Scully be like this? So depressed... entertaining thoughts of ending it.

Mulder was scared... whatever reality's Scully this was, it was still Scully. He wanted out of here... he wanted to go home. He wanted to go to HIS Scully... hug her, tell her how much she meant to him, what he would be willing to do for her (he couldn't tell her what he wouldn't do, because then he'd been telling her nothing).

He dropped his head into his hands, muttering feebly, "Don't do it, Scully... don't do it."

After a short pause, Scully's faint and flat voice challenged the darkness (and GOD, it sounded like it was answering him), "Why not?"

Mulder looked up at her.

Scully, eyes worn and tired... dead to the world, stared at her weapon a long time. Then she looked up over her shoulder toward the stairs. She frowned, tears threatening, then silently replaced the weapon in the bureau and locked it again.

Scully put her face in her hands, sobbing weakly. She didn't want to live like this... but she couldn't leave her children. Forced to live a life she hated.



****



Mulder twitched, fighting to regain his bearings once more. He blinked again... and again... he was in his office. His office!

He quickly stood, looking around the room. He rushed to the back area of the office, his heart finally starting to beat again when he saw some of Scully's things on the light-table. He sighed heavily... thank god!

Mulder looked around the office, searching for the jinnee. She was gone. As she was commanded to be.

Mulder shivered... shaking uncontrollably. He couldn't help it.

He stumbled his way to his chair, falling down into it and letting the terrified trembles ease on their own. God... Scully... THAT Scully... she had wanted to die. He HAD killed himself, but Scully had wanted to die.

He always thought... he always believed that, if it weren't for him, Scully would be happy. She would have a family, her sister would be alive... and all of that was true, but she wasn't happy.

It was a wake-up for Mulder... a big one. Having children, a husband, a nice home, her sister... it wasn't enough to make her happy. He'd never seen Scully like that... that look in her eye. Not HIS Scully... even when her sister and father had just died, she'd never looked like that. She always had a spark of life behind her eyes.

And then... it struck Mulder... really struck him.

He made her happy. Despite the trials they suffered through, the loses they endured... she was still happy. Somehow, how it was true he would never know, but Mulder made Scully's life worth living. She enjoyed life, contrary to what she teased him with. Teased... played... had fun. Her life was worth living... he made her want to go on. God... he always knew she was HIS purpose for going on... but him being hers?

Mulder slowly stood, his body having calmed down from its earlier quaking.

He reached down to his phone, picking it up and automatically dialing the number he knew by heart.

"Scully."

Mulder sighed. Sagged so gratefully he ended up having to sit down again. Her voice was lively... that hint of apprehension at what he might say, concern that something was wrong with him, secret satisfaction that he was calling her... life... life in her voice.

Mulder smiled, "Hey, Scully... it's just me."

"Hey, Mulder... everything okay?"

Mulder closed his eyes, savoring the moment. Partly because all he had to say was 'it's me' and she knew exactly who it was, and partly because her first concern was if anything was wrong... if he needed her help.

"Yeah... everything's fine. I was just... wondering if you'd like to come over to my place tonight."

"You sure you're okay?"

Mulder smirked... reasonable question, for it was a strange request in the middle of the day. "Yeah... I'm good... I was just thinking we could watch a movie or something."

Scully was silent a moment, then her voice came back (so THANKFULLY full of vigor and substance), "What time?"

Mulder felt the largest, goofiest grin crack his face, "How about seven?"

"Sounds good... I'll bring some drinks."

"Okay... see you then."



****



"I can't believe you don't like butter on your popcorn, Scully. That's unAmerican."

Scully, reclining back on Mulder's couch with a beer in hand, picked up the videocassette box.

"Caddyshack, Mulder?"

Mulder settled beside her on the couch, setting the popcorn down on the coffee table and picking up his own beer, "It's a classic."

Scully eyed him, "All guys say that. It's a guy movie."

Mulder lamented teasingly, "Well, next time we'll go to your place and we can watch Steel Magnolias."

Scully gave him another look... one meant to be a glare but obviously not to the one person who knew how to read her face. He could see the smile dancing behind her eyes, the grin tugging at her lips, though she fought it.

Scully smirked and tossed her bottle cap toward the trash can... score.

Mulder copied, throwing his own cap toward the trash can. It hit the side, bounced onto the floor, and rolled under his desk.

Mulder sagged, oh man.

Scully cast him a taunting, victorious smirk, took a drink, then sat back.

Mulder could stay like this forever. He knew now... he knew he had not ruined Scully's life. For all their hardships... everything she'd had to live through... she liked her life. Dana Scully was happy... Fox Mulder made Dana Scully a happy person. One who embraced life... lived it to the fullest (within her means of chasing monsters and mutants, of course).

Mulder was brought out of his thoughts when Scully asked him, "So what was your third wish for?"

Mulder looked down at her, forgetting the movie. He studied her face, so close to his a moment, then his countenance was overtaken by a secret, knowing smile.





END